Kentucky Senate Protects Christian Cake Bakers From Dirty Cake-Obsessed Homosexuals

It's in the Bible.

Oh glory hallelujah, another state has stepped up to mitigate the destruction being visited upon Jesus-loving bakers, candlestick makers, butchers and fortune-telling prostitutes by the dirty homosexual demons who persecute them so, by offering to give them money for cake, candlesticks, meat hunks and erotic palm readings. Kentucky, show us what your state senate has done:  

The Kentucky State Senate voted 22 to 16 on Tuesday to approve a bill that would protect people who refuse services in the name of religion in certain situations, and could partially override local laws designed to protect LGBT people from discrimination.

However, lawmakers were unclear what the bill’s ultimate impacts would be. The senate also adopted an amendment that states the bill would not apply to those providing “standard goods or services” in the ordinary course of business or at a place of public accommodation, resort, or amusement.

[contextly_sidebar id="r66DboSP1i9X88MWF6CBAeTgmlKOsz33"]Oh gosh, we're having flashbacks. Remember when Indiana passed its original "religious freedom restoration act" (RFRA) and idiot boy Gov. Mike Pence was willing to shout from the mountaintops that he had no fucking idea what he just signed? Now in Kentucky, they're doing the same thing. That's just great, you guys are #Democracying so good right now.

The bill's sponsor, state Sen. Albert Robinson (R-Your Mom), says Kentucky totally needs to protect loving God-fearing Christians from gaysexxxy types, because, and we quote, "the homosexual community makes it an issue.” Yes, goddamn that homosexual community for wanting to be treated as first-class citizens. Where in the hell do they get off?

[contextly_sidebar id="FpzFlUBbnnTxiT4PQKL8r9lLwZ2AOtTE"]Anyway, same old same old. Gotta stick unnecessary "religious freedom" laws on the books (in Georgia and Missouri and West Virginia and South Dakota and probably at least 57 more states) so poor, put-upon fundamentalist wingnut Christians don't risk getting eated by fire for all eternity by their loving boychild of a God, for the sin of writing "Congratulations, Phil and Dave!" on a wedding cake. God is fully aware that "Congratulations" means "I fully endorse all the anal sex you boys have, and I would like to participate in it soon!"

[contextly_sidebar id="RrS4TQGDSZvHV2v2LJAbv48QVzK3N5pl"]If this law passes the Kentucky house and is signed by shitmouth Republican Gov. Matt Bevin, it would be good news for gay-hatin' Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis. On top of how the Kentucky senate also   passed a bill to create Separate But Equal marriage licenses for 'dem homos, it would mean that if Davis discovered a passion up inside her lady jumper for Betty Crocker cake mixes and wanted to gussy up some sweets for the weddings of Rowan County, Satan and the state government would not force her to sell her divinely inspired creations to dirty gaywads.

But if you're a Kentuckian who is NOT a homophobic twat-noggin' like Davis or her governor, you should be very embarrassed by your state senate right now.

[ Buzzfeed ]