Kevin McCarthy Desperately Hopes You Believe Sh*t He's Making Up About Eric Swalwell

Take your sneering and your fake indignation somewhere else, you fucking airhead, we mean Mister Speaker.

Ever since the Republican Party rolled over on its belly and started taking orders from a guy who was clearly compromised by Russia and whose original campaign for the presidency was found to be as infused with Russian influence as a gigantic cauldron of your Nana's borscht , Republicans have been DESPERATE to find Democrats to accuse of also being "compromised." This is why they are so obsessed with Hunter Biden's laptop and their weird wet dreams about Hunter somehow being some kind of global influence-peddling mastermind. This is why they've been fucking the chicken of this story about Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell and a Chinese spy for years now, even though the story is a giant dud. 

This is especially true of Kevin McCarthy, a man with zero moral compass, who will say and do anything to achieve and retain power. Here is Barely Speaker Kevin last week (he tweeted it yesterday) making big boy indignation words about how if you heard about Eric Swalwell what he heard about Eric Swalwell, you wouldn't let Eric Swalwell on ANY committees, much less the Intelligence Committee.

“If you got the briefing I got from the FBI, you wouldn't have Eric Swalwell on 𝘢𝘯𝘺 committee.”

— Kevin McCarthy (@Kevin McCarthy) 1673968591 

Note the distinct lack of receipts, or offer of any kind of proof. No, we're just supposed to take one of the least credible people in Washington's word for it. Haha, fuck you.

 NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION! You Know, Except For ALL THIS F*CKING COLLUSION! 

 Eric Swalwell: He Bang With Chinese Spy? 

Let's be clear: Kevin McCarthy does not give a fuck about whether people on congressional committees might be compromised. He only cares that they are Republicans.

This is the person who just put a bunch of actual anti-American seditionists in charge of congressional committees, and many more anti-American seditionists on those committees.

This is the person who just put QAnon Marge on the Homeland Security and Oversight Committees, presumably to protect the Homeland from Jewish Space Lasers, and to exercise oversight over the protecting thereof. (Yeah, we know, she supposedly has put away her childish beliefs. Sure.)

This is the person who just gave Paul Gosar back his committee assignments, despite that guy's constant cuddling with white supremacists, despite how that guy posted a video on social media about killing Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

This is the person who just put George fucking Santos on congressional committees. You think that dude   might be a target for literally every hostile foreign intelligence operative in the world who has also too used aliases in their life?

You cannot put George fucking Santos on congressional committees and then whip your tailfeathers around self-righteously about how Eric Swalwell is the real security risk. Fuck you.

Swalwell says former Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan was totally aware of the FBI investigation involving the Chinese spy who tried to cuddle up to American politicians. Thing is, Swalwell was never even accused of doing anything untoward. It's just a bunch of Fox News screaming "Eric Swalwell!" and "Fang Fang!" the way they do when they don't have an actual story: They just scream proper nouns at you and hope you don't notice they're not using any verbs.

In fact, the original reporting about Swalwell and the Chinese spy says Swalwell did what he was supposed to do when he was alerted to who this Chinese intelligence operative was. (You know, kinda like Joe Biden did what he was supposed to do when he found he somehow had a few classified docs at his house.) He cut ties. He cooperated with the FBI.

Lest we forget, Kevin McCarthy is also the person who said all these things in 2016:  

McCarthy brought the conversation about Russian meddling around to the DNC hack, Trump and [former GOP Rep. Dana] Rohrabacher.

“I’ll guarantee you that’s what it is...The Russians hacked the DNC and got the opp [opposition] research that they had on Trump,” McCarthy said with a laugh.

Ryan asked who the Russians “delivered” the opposition research to.

“There’s... there’s two people, I think, Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump,” McCarthy said, drawing some laughter. “Swear to God,” McCarthy added.

“This is an off the record,” Ryan said.

Some lawmakers laughed at that.

Eat full buckets of shit in hell, pretty boy. Swear to God.

In the same press conference, McCarthy also slung a bunch of bullshit about Adam Schiff, babbling Republican conspiracy theories about Schiff's supposed lies about Trump's Russian collusion and the Ukraine whistleblower. Washington Post factchecker Glenn Kessler debunks literally all of it here and calls McCarthy's attacks on both men "specious." He notes that McCarthy promised "payback" for Democrats removing Republicans from committees. (Ta da!) He calls McCarthy a "four Pinocchios" for all this.

In other words, he's saying Paul McCarthy is a damned liar, that's what he means. In case that wasn't clear to EVERYONE at this point.

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