Kilmar Abrego Garcia Might Be Deported To Uganda For Crime Of Trump Being Wrong
The president can hardly enjoy his 27 afternoon Diet Cokes.
Donald Trump is trying so hard to disappear Kilmar Abrego Garcia, you’d think the Maryland man was an allegation that our barely sentient president cheated on his wife with a porn star.
On Friday, Garcia was released from custody in Tennessee, where he had languished in jail since June after the United States government brought him back from the El Salvador prison to which it had (by its own admission) mistakenly deported him, so that he could face some ginned-up bullshit charges that he was once a human trafficker. The charges were a pathetic attempt at ass-covering of its mistake even for this administration, which is filled at the highest levels with malignant incompetents that you wouldn’t trust to so much as scoop up dog shit without shooting the dog that shat it.
When he was released last week, the public learned that the government had recently offered Garcia a plea deal. He could either plead guilty to the flimsy, ginned-up bullshit charges, serve his time, and then be deported to Costa Rica, a country he may never have been to but which at least speaks his native language of Spanish (and everybody loves it, it’s Costa Rica!). Or he could not plead guilty and be deported to Uganda immediately, a more unstable country he has for sure never been to, and which is much farther away from his wife and three kids.
It really puts the lie to the government’s contention that Garcia is an unrepentant MS-13 gangbanger when it made a loud stink about bringing him back to the United States to face American justice in a courtroom, then made an offer that strongly suggests it would prefer he skip the trial and save it the embarrassment of losing. Maybe the federal prosecutor in Tennessee who resigned rather than prosecute Garcia because he thought it was a bullshit case that was being pursued because of politics was on to something.
First he was a vicious criminal who couldn’t be returned from El Salvador without endangering America. Then he could be returned to answer for his allegedly heinous crimes. Now the Trump administration is booting him out of the country before his trial on the bogus charges it ginned up to justify bringing him back in the first place. Make up your damn minds!
No, Garcia can’t be allowed to remain in the States for the simple reason that he might have a lot of stories to tell about just what went on in that El Salvadoran prison that the Trump administration maliciously sent them to. He’s a walking Trump policy failure, a repudiation of every xenophobic administration action. He’s an embarrassment for Trump from the top of his over-bronzed face down to his swollen cankles.
The government couldn’t give Garcia even one night with his family before ordering him to report to the Baltimore ICE office on Monday morning so it could take him into custody and start the process of deporting him to Uganda. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem took a moment out of her busy schedule of constant Botox injections to brag about it on X:
We won’t recap all the reasons Noem’s tweet is a load of horse-hockey, since Dok saved us the trouble almost three months ago. We’ll just note that we can smell the flopsweat flying off that tweet.
Had it been yr Wonkette, we might have spent Monday driving to all the embassies in the greater Washington area until we found one that would give us political asylum. But Garcia reported to ICE as ordered, depriving us all of a possible Julian Assange situation.
Before entering the ICE building, Garcia gave a speech thanking all his supporters and telling them not to lose hope because “God will bring justice to all the injustice we are suffering.”
If nothing else, Garcia showed more bravery and grace than all the mildew-brained administration officials, including President Cankles, who were at that very moment trashing him on camera in the Oval Office and making him sound like the second coming of Osama bin Laden:
Meanwhile, Garcia’s lawyers filed a motion tearing into the government for pretty much everything. The government responded with its own filing pronouncing itself shocked and appalled that the defense would accuse them of not being on the up and up:
It is common in this District for the Government to engage in plea negotiations with defendants charged with federal crimes at the onset of a case [...] Their most recent assertions are dishonestly made. Moreover, defense counsel’s misleading commentary on these discussions through a public and incendiary filing — apparently designed to garner the sort of media attention they have previously decried — raises the concern that this Court is now left with a misimpression of the true facts.
Yeah, the Trump administration hates grandstanding liars who demand media attention. It’s practically their founding ethos. That and all the evil.
Monday afternoon, the two sides were on a teleconference with Judge Paula Xinis, the federal judge who ordered the administration to bring Garcia back from El Salvador months ago. And we’re probably reading too much into the tone here, but the judge sounds ... weary:
Xinis noted that there was nothing that could reassure her that if Garcia went to Uganda, that country would not ship him back to El Salvador. She also noted that sending Garcia to Uganda seemed to be a punishment for his decision to exercise his constitutional right to trial. Which, she did not clarify for the DOJ lawyer but probably needed to, is bad.
The upshot is that a court has ordered the government to not put Garcia on a plane to Entebbe International Airport, and to not move him anywhere else either. (He’s currently being held in Virginia and his lawyers worried ICE might ship him to a detention facility much farther away from them and his family.) The lawyers are writing arguments so Xinis can decide whether Garcia can be deported to Uganda or anywhere else.
In other words, this mess is pretty much back where it was in March, with the exception of everyone being six months older.
[NYT]
Support Wonkette! Donations cost nothing! Except the amount of the donation, anyway.
Hold up. Garcia isn't "good for votes"? Motherfucker, this isn't an election issue. This is about the administration being DEAD WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Goddamn, I hate this senile parasitic screwworm. I hope Hell has a special room reserved just for him, and an adjoining cell for Kristi Noem.
OT: I was standing in line at the self checkout at Walmart yesterday. The guy next to me leaned over and said “I hate these machines”. “It’s socialism.” “See those cameras over there, that’s socialism”.
JFC. Fox News is rotting people’s brains.