Kissing Congressman Tries Age-Old 'Ask FBI To Investigate Tape Of My Adultery' Ploy To Get Spotlight Off His Adultery (UPDATED)

 (Updated! See end of post) We all had a good laugh the other day over the trials and travails of the Kissing Congressman, Rep. Vance McAllister (R-Tonsil Hockey), and his sorry-not-sorry apology to his constituents, his wife, his kids, God, social decency, Saints fans, the endangered Louisiana wetlands and who knows who else over his getting caught on a security video making out with a staffer (and wife of a close friend), who was later fired -- er, voluntarily removed herself from the congressman's payroll -- for being a foul jezebel temptress who tricked McAllister into forsaking his sworn marriage vows.

Now McAllister is contemplating asking John Boehner to get the FBI to investigate who leaked this tape in the first place. Because what better use of federal resources than finding out who embarrassed the living fuck out of a first-term back-bencher whose biggest accomplishment so far is bringing one of the Duck Dynasty guys to the State of the Union?

We don’t know if it rises to the level of a federal crime -- what are we, Vox? -- but we do know that, thanks to the work of intrepid reporter/blogger Lamar White Jr., this whole thing is turning out to be murkier than a bayou at midnight. For one, the outlet that originally released the tape, The Ouachita Citizen, had endorsed McAllister’s opponent, Neil Riser, in last November’s special election to fill the seat while strongly denouncing McAllister as a liberal for his support of the Medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act and his refusal to denounce the ACA as a Marxist plot. For another, if this footage was recorded in December, why did the person who leaked it sit on it for four months before releasing it to the media? Or did The Ouachita Citizen sit on it for four months before releasing it? And did the release’s timing have anything to do with McAllister’s recently calling out Gov. Bobby Jindal for his bullshit opposition to the Medicaid expansion?

Plus, as White points out, if someone did sneak into the office to surreptitiously record the video with a cellphone, that would in fact be a violation of federal law. Just ask boy videographer James O'Keefe.

It would be irresponsible for you not to speculate about all this in the comments!

UPDATE: Not thirty minutes after this posted, TPM is now reporting that McAllister is too busy "earning back the trust of those he has disappointed" (Translation: he's begging his wife to let him come home from the Motel 6 to which he's been banished) to ask the FBI to investigate after all. Also he reiterated that he would appreciate privacy for the family he was happy to use as a campaign prop last fall but which he now needs to shove back under the bed now that he has been caught fucking up.

[ TPM / CenLamar ]