Knicks Touched By A Loser As Trump Shows Up, Gets Booed, Goes To Sleep
And nothing of value was gained.
The New York Knicks lost last night in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. They had won 13 times in a row, but that old curse was in the house, and its name was Donald Trump.
Yes, Trump’s presence caused his chosen team to lose, just as it does with wars and other people’s elections. (And most of his own!)
Because if Trump breathes on something, if he farts on it, if he has an accident in his granny panties in its general direction, it dies.
It was a close game — 115 to 111! — but its conclusion was unfortunately foreordained, because Trump was there, and if he touches something, it loses. He may be president of the United States, but in his soul he’s a little boy from the outer boroughs whose parents are beyond ugly, who passed those ugly genes on to him, whose daddy didn’t love him, who craves the attention and approval of the fancy people who live on the big island where Madison Square Garden sits, and who will never give it to him, because he’s beneath them. Not because they’re actually special, but because he’s beneath everyone.
As Knicks superfan Michael Che remarked on Instagram Stories:
You would think creeper Knicks owner James Dolan would have thought twice before he decided to throw that poisonous, pockmarked, dirty-smelling turd into his team’s punchbowl by inviting Trump, but men like them thrive on not understanding how thoroughly toxic and unwanted they and their loser friends are to the rest of the world. If they ever saw in the mirror what the world sees, oof, that wouldn’t be a good day for them.
Yes, “sports” happened, there were technically “reasons” the Knicks ultimately lost last night, involving “balls” and “baskets” and “the score.”
But let’s be honest, if Trump hadn’t been up there causing traffic problems, canceling watch parties, people weren’t even able to walk around Midtown Manhattan because one dumpy loser fuck was in attendance, causing olfactory problems for everybody within a 100-foot radius as he (we are guessing) shit himself to sleep (not guessing, he fell asleep), the Knicks probably would be coasting to finish it all up in Game 4.
At least when Trump showed up last night, basketball fans booed him for ruining their night, ruining their basketball, ruining America, and ruining their lives. When his motorcade drove by, people booed it, and said other things and made hand gestures to it. As sports commentator Stephen A. Smith said, Trump had “no business” showing up. “It is selfish. It is narcissistic.”
And so the crowd told him:
Brutal. But that’s what happens when the most loathed and mocked man in world history leaves the house. Maybe he shouldn’t do that anymore.
(Watch out, Todd Blanche will copy/paste that and put it in a breathlessly colon-tonguing filing about about Trump’s ballroom.)
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Here’s another video:
This longer video really captures the moment Trump showed up on the jumbotron:
Another good view!
And here is New York telling the bitch to leave:
Today is a good day to rock your touristy I Heart NY T-shirts and tote bags.
Trump, like that loser little boy on the edge of tears but he knows his daddy will slap the shame into him if he cries in public, told reporters afterward that people didn’t boo him at all. “I thought it was very good, it was certainly amazing, it was, I think, mostly cheers. It was loud and it was very enthusiastic.”
Sad.
Trump will not able able to attend Game 4, he says, because “war.” (Also the reason he missed Don Jr.’s wedding, just kidding that was because he doesn’t love Don Jr. just like his daddy didn’t love him.)
So basically last night Trump canceled an entire area of the city that hates him just so he could infect the air enough with his breath that the city’s team lost a very important basketball game. That seems like some kind of metaphor for Trump’s life, or something.
Donald Trump is turning 80 this weekend and he’s throwing himself a trashy bouncy house cage match on the White House lawn. The taint-sniffing UFC chief Dana White thinks it’s going to be bigger than the Super Bowl.
After whatever debacle of failure it turns out to be, we’re sure Trump will claim he doesn’t have time for any more UFC matches, because “war.”
He will never not be that ugly little boy from Queens.
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Game was on too late for me to watch and enjoy all the boo birds, but I have to think that as well as the toxicity that the turd from Queens brought, my man Wemby had a little something to do with the Spurs win. He's legend.
"...under Knicks fans' red glare,
the boos bursting in air..."