191 Comments

In solidarity with my good friends on the Rosebud Reservation and in Mission, we have banned Kristi Noem from our homes.

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She's the latest in a long line of "next big thing" Republican governors who were no such thing.

Bobby Jindal. Chris Christie. Scott Walker. Ron DeSantis. Now Noem. All Republicans, mostly from red states, all touted as the fresh face that was going to connect young people with the Republican Party. All duds, failures and losers. The only difference is that Noem is going to sink into oblivion even faster than those other turkeys. She's three-quarters there already.

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Can't forget Nikki!

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She's not out yet! She plans on running for POTUS again, and she's got a lot of big money donors on her side. My guess is she'll run again in 2028...IF we're still having elections.

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Oh dog yes. How'd I leave her out?

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At least the dogs (and goats) on tribal lands will be safe.

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Yesterday, I saw a poll for possible GOP VP candidates. I think Burgerumm (I don’t care how it’s spelled) came out on top, probably because no one knows who he is.

Noem, however, was the only candidate to come in with less than 1%. If there’s a zero in front of your percentage, it’s time to lower your lifeboats.

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My SWAG vote for VP - coach tubby. He won't steal the limelight.

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Oh man. For his spokesperson, every day would be a cleanup on aisle six.

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Isn't Bug Durntootin a governor?

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North Dakota? Is that possible? We’re having a VP battle between North and South Dakota?

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Are we sure he even exists?

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Trump should embrace the evil and run on a Convicted Rapist/Confessed Dog Killer 2024 ticket.

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I don't know.....I mean just how MANY GQP politicians can you fit on there?

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The Libertarians should put up a dog rapist to steal the thunder

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Rand Paul step right up

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Never screw the pooch.

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But what about the chicken?

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That’s one tired, sore chicken at this point.

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Keep on keeping on

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Say, what *is* Rand Paul up to these days?

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Too bad for Kristi. I'm sure Trump had his eyes on her for Veep. He no doubt thought she is bone-able, an important consideration.

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He probably still would bone her. It’s don’t like he has standards.

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IPA libelzz!

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If you are “governor” of a state where you regularly need to consult a map to avoid all the areas you are banned from, maybe you should consider stepping down and making changes in your life. I’m a little surprised she hasn’t filed a “I’m Governor of SD you can’t ban me!” federal lawsuit.

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She should definitely go to the corner and think about what she's done.

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With some gravel on the ground, for sure.

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see I worked in a morgue, and yet it appears I'm not the only one of this wavelength. cuz corner & Coroner sound like homophones if you're from an American West/SW dialect. Let's just say my sense of humour is dark AF. My taboos are not the same as most other humans, so I don't let this side out too much. Even talking about death offends so many people much less finding humour in it.

hell, the same motor output is required for both laughing and crying. I choose to laugh as I've cried enough kind of thing.

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At least it’s a chance to meet everybody. Eventually.

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indeed. jejeje. Now I've got some Pratchet disc world images in my head.

Love the anthropormorphization, then again, I tend towards liking stories of La Flaca on a similar groove.

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I posted earlier ( in the Tabs thread ) that idiots here in The Villages paid $50/head ( at least ) to hear Kristi speak at a "book tour" event in Monday. She did show up and the 230 people who paid ( full house ) were "wowed" ( in the words of a local news website ). Also, too, there were about 15 "animal rights activists" ( local oldz that wouldn't know a PETA from a peter ) demonstrating outside the venue ( one of The Villages many "recreation centers" ).

Apparently, later that day, she also attended a "book tour" event in West Palm Beach, where almost a thousand dumbshits paid to hear her.

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I live in an unincorporated place near Le Villages, but we don't partake.

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Hi, neighbor! Are you in the 11th Congressional district ( Daniel Webster (R), congresscritter )? I was shocked back in 2022 when Laura Loomer ran against him in the primary, and garnered some 4000-5000 votes, most of which came from The Villages ( Webster still won, and in the general, the Democrat didn't stand a chance ). This year, Anthony Sabatini is running against Webster, and, if possible, he's even worse than Loomer. I bet he gets a lot of Villages votes ( a lot of Republicans here are tired of Webster, but they don't even consider voting for a Democrat ) and if Sabatini gets in, we're fucked. I can only hope that the rest of the District is saner than the oldz around here.

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May 14·edited May 14

Is Jack Klompas the president there now or did Morty manage to hang on for one more term?

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I have no idea who these people are, let alone the position of president in The Villages

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WTAF is not just a radio station in New York.

[For the literal-minded among us: I would be surprised if there were one. I am making a joke here.]

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There was a TV station in Indiana with that callsign - but it went off the air in 1969, probably long before WATF got its current meaning

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I guess she's termed out but her replacement should be worse. Oooof.

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Not totally sure that is even possible!

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50 Republican candidates say "hold my beer"

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founding

Countdown has begun for the spectacle of Ms. Noem showing up on teevee singing her Hallelujah Chorus for accepting Jesus H Christ into her heart and being SAVED and all her sins FORGIVEN! She will then blather on about many things but the takeaway is that she has played the GOP's favorite "Get Out Of Gravel Pit Jail Free" card and Jesus can be relied upon to stay mum about whether it is true or not (hint: it's not true)

Oh what's this? A press release from Heaven! It seems Jesus H Christ is planning a press conference just prior to Kristi Noem's declaration of redemption! I wonder what the savior plans to say. Could be interesting!

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Handel's actual chorus is pretty great. I think one can safely pass on Noem's version.

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What is it with these republican dipshits? They can't even tell you the time of day without accusing Joe Biden or the democrats of some nefarious skullduggery.

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I would love to laugh at the hyperbole but it is not hyperbole. God help you if you remark on the weather. You'll get a lecture on Biden, the liberals, the homeless, gas prices, and "climate change is bullshit". They are SOOO boring. Literally cannot talk about anything else.

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Because they got nothing.

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It's always double-down with them. Roy Cohn and PAB showed them the way.

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May 14·edited May 14

So is looks like a new HeritageThinkTank plan is to equate the Tribal Nations to unlegal immigrants in the minds of the great unwashed.

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What's interesting is that some of our local tribes, who hit it huge on the gambling thing, are doing that internally. Trying to kick members out, claiming they're not "Indian enough" to up their own shares (they are all now multi-millionaires)

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founding

That one usually works.

yrs,

G. Custer Memorial Freedom RightThink Foundation

3745 Third Circle Road

Hell

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Word association works very well with the cult.

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founding

I hereby *not* ban Kristi Noem from my church. She's welcome, but she won't last through the sermon. She'll be gone after a short spell of squirming and staring at her shoes.

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Going to go with a medley from Matthew 6? Or just straight to the Massacre of the Innocents?

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founding

Oh she plans to be in church long enough to jump up and shout how the scales have fallen from her eyes! Jesus has entered her heart! All the sins are forgiven! She's accepted Jesus and Jesus accepts her! Case closed!

But will Jesus visit the gravel pit to raise poor Cricket or the goat from their graves?

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Cricket and the goat are cavorting among daisies in green meadows, they don't wanna come back. And maybe some snake-handling Pentacostals would be more her speed.

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Those guys?

Puh-leeeeeze!

They are WAY too high maintenance! Especially with the live mammal snake food and 3 times a week mandatory attendance and the ACTUAL BIBLE READING!

She'd kill the snakes for sport, eat the snake chow and get bogged down trying to figure out where she can find a Genesis 7:11 to buy more ammo to kill the snakes with.

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Attention: I am hereby banning Kristi Noem from my backyard...

... too bad for her too because Macron and Kim Jong Un are coming over for BBQ.

(... so obviously that’s gonna be lit.)

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Are those two currently getting along? Of course, one of them _is_ French!

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I don’t know. I didn’t tell either of them the other was coming...

... I like to do stuff like that. Mix it up. Get people together, see who hits it off. You can read all about it in my totally true autobiography ‘No Way Anyone Fact Checked This’.

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That looks like a page-turner!

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Her part in Singin' In the Rain may have been small, but Paige Turner made that movie.

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This reminds me of the time Bill Pratt went to Bela Lugosi's funeral. He leaned over the open coffin, and said, in his famous slight lisp, "Bela -- you're not _putting me on_, are you?"

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If Kristi keeps digging then she's going to get the gravel pit of her dreams aka nightmares.

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If Kristi keeps digging, she's going to hear, "G'day, Mate!"

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