Labor Secretary Resigns To Spend More Time At Bottom Of Rosé Bottle With Lecherous Husband
Several thousand Labor Department employees breathe a sigh of relief.
A mere three months have elapsed since we first wrote about the scandal swirling around Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer. At the time, reports were that Chavez-DeRemer was being investigated for (ALLEGEDLY) banging a subordinate, drinking on the job, and generally being a shitty boss. Sure, it was bad, but it wasn’t “Kristi Noem spent $75 million on an airborne fuck palace” levels of laughable. Given all the constant scandals swirling around Donald Trump’s administration, we figured l’affaire de Chavez-DeRemer would be a distant memory after a couple of days.
What can we say, we’re optimists.
But since the story broke, there have been other developments. Oh, so many other developments. And on Monday, it all came to a head when Chavez-DeRemer resigned from her job, presumably leaving behind several thousand very relieved Labor Department employees who can now do their own jobs without fear of the secretary sending them to pick up her dry cleaning or ordering them to hold her hair back while she drunkenly vomits into an office toilet.
But, as mentioned, there were other developments. A couple of aides were put on leave for allegedly helping their boss try to cover up her behavior. Her husband was accused of sexually harassing and assaulting multiple female employees of the DOL, to the point where he was banned from the building and investigated by the DC Metropolitan Police Department. (The MPD eventually announced he wouldn’t be charged with anything.)
Then last week, The New York Times had some new reporting, and ew, ick, hoo boy:
Ms. Chavez-DeRemer’s husband exchanged text messages with young female staff members, as did her father. Some of the young women were instructed by Ms. Chavez-DeRemer and the former deputy chief of staff to “pay attention” to the men, according to people familiar with the investigation.
Sorry, her husband and her father were hitting on female staff, and she was encouraging it? Gross. She’s 57, so her father must be 80, at least. What 25-year-old female Labor Department employee wants to be ordered by her boss to flirt with an 80-year-old man?
The Times got a look at some of these messages, and again, ew, ick, and so forth:
In an April 2025 exchange provided to investigators, Ms. Chavez-DeRemer’s father, Richard Chavez, wrote to a young female staff member: “Hearing u/r in town. Wishing you would let me know. I could have made some excuses to get out and show u around. Please keep this private.”
The father also asked the young female how long she would be in town and where was she staying. We hope she told him Deanwood, and he should come on by whenever.
Chavez-DeRemer is now the third member of Trump’s Cabinet to depart her job in the last six weeks or so. We all remember Noem and Attorney General Pam Bondi getting fired. Chavez-DeRemer allegedly resigned to take a private sector job, but it would not be a surprise if she was pressured to do so. What private sector job is so awesome that she absolutely had to take it now instead of waiting until Trump’s presidency is over, when there will be a gazillion lucrative opportunities for a former Labor Secretary?
And if you are saying to yourself, Hmmmm, funny how when Trump finally started getting rid of some of the one-eyed syphilitic monkeys with which he stocked his Cabinet, the first three to go were all women, well, first we assume you do not mean it is ha-ha funny. Second, yes, we think it’s fair to assume that due to his rampant misogyny and history of ogling, sexually assaulting, and just plain creeping on members of the fairer sex, the women who work for Trump have much shorter leashes.
Which is not to defend Chavez-DeRemer, Noem, or Bondi, all of whom are terrible people and who, in a just world, would spend the rest of their lives wearing rags, sleeping on steam grates, and pushing all their worldly possessions around in a shopping cart. But we can’t help but notice that another high-level drunken Trump administration lout, Kash Patel, is staying right where he is and suing The Atlantic for $250 million for reporting on his boozing and bad behavior. And of course Pete Hegseth does not seem to be going anywhere, to the detriment of the armed forces and the entire civilized world.
And it seems like not a great sign of executive leadership to have three Cabinet officials forced out in a month and a half. In fact, it reeks of panic and desperation to make some cosmetic changes before the midterms. Trump may be a blowhard and a moron, but even he can read a poll.
Help Wonkette keep the lights on and the snark flowing.
This is not meant as victim blaming in any way, because NOBODY deserves to be mistreated at work. But damn, you'd think the young(ish) staffers being made to endure the verbal and sexual abuse and inappropriate workplace behavior of these assholes would wise up and quit. There have got to be other places where even a low-level politically-connected MAGAT could land somewhat softly. I'd like to think that they'd also reassess their politics and life choices in the process, but that's me being the optimist about culty idiots.
For a guy who supposedly doesn’t drink and can’t stand drinking, Trump sure does hire a lot of drunks.