Lame Al Qaeda Now Claiming Failed Terror Attacks, Too

 Inspire , which is Al-Qaeda's English-language magazine, but, going by its name, sounds like it should be sitting next to Oprah's magazine at the checkout counter, has claimed responsibility for a recent, failed plot to explode printer cartridges on cargo planes. First of all, is there anything lamer than this magazine? This thing is more childish and trivial than Boys' Life , and like THE POLITICO , its only readers are journalists who are forced to read it by their bosses. Second, look at this quote: "The operation has succeeded in achieving its objectives. We thank Allah for His blessings." Oh is this what Allah wants? Allah wants you to fail, but he will still love you as long as you tried your hardest?

"We will continue with similar operations and we do not mind at all in this stage if they are intercepted," one article said. "It is such a good bargain for us to spread fear amongst the enemy . . . in exchange for a few months of work and a few thousand bucks."

Haha, these fuckers are worse than a Web start-up firm. "We don't care if all of our terror attacks fail! It's about getting our name out there! BRANDING! TERROR TWO-POINT-OH!" The difference, though, is that al-Qaeda has been around for decades and has no excuse for its investors about why it is weak and failing so badly.

The magazine also includes photos of the printers that were shipped, as well as a Charles Dickens novel, "Great Expectations," that was packed in one of the boxes to reflect the group's optimism "about the outcome of this operation."

Jesus, is this still a terrorist organization, or is it now a group of pathetic English literature professors? (Either way, burn in hell, fuckers.) [ WP / CNN ]