Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

One fuckin nice thing about me is I am GODDAMN GRATEFUL.

Above: Last Christmas, Shy and Donna singing our wedding song, Perfect Day, and granddaughter Lu flying a B’AR.

I am tired. You are probably tired, or maybe you are full of vigor and postmenopausal zest. Well the rest of us are all wiped out with the Christmas and the stuff and the year and goddamn fucking Trump, still, more, AGAIN. Maybe like me you are 50 and have parents and kids and grandkids at home and fuck you Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema for DQing the home health care for olds and well-paid daycare for children that was the big bad socialisms of Joe Biden’s Build Back Better.

Wait, that is not how a Christmas letter of love and gratitude should begin. Let me try again.

FUCK YOU JOE MANCHIN AND KYRSTEN SINEMA … well shit, that is the same thing, except now I am shouting!

Okay, one more time, this time with some hot cider with rum:

MAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS! You send me love notes to cheer me up when I am (frequently!) feeling sorry for me! You send me money for payroll so I can pay my magnificent full-time writers SER and Evan and Dok and Robyn as well as all our terrific regular freelancers like Martini and Ziggy — who will host a special Christmas night movie night tonight with Die Hard at 7 eastern! — and Gary and La Benincasa and Erik Loomis and Michael and Liz. (Nicola, “Cakes We Like,” is keeping her amateur card and foregoing pay.) You even bought me Hooper, our very own bartender! And that is the true meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown.

Sometimes you send me gifts in the mail at Wonkette, PO Box 38273, Detroit MI 48238! I LOVE GIFTS!

Mostly, you make me feel like a hot shit important lady with thousands and thousands of friends who care about the things that are bad in the world and want to join in doing our bit to fix them, because we are good citizens with big bloody hearts of love and cynicism and madness and joy.

Thank you for keeping us going forever. We could not love you more.

xoxo

Becca

Wonkette

Or this, for those of you who like this. *Does not go toward cat picture minimum!*