Welcome to another episode of Disrespected White MAGA Weenus Theatre, where a previously no-name white conservative loser goes viral after having a melodramatic temper tantrum over the fact that in the year 2026, people don’t automatically give them respect they haven’t earned, simply on account of their status as white conservative men, like they did in the good old days.
This is what happens when you rip that DEI away from these dipshits with their patriarchal daddy issues, when you start treating them the way they deserve to be treated. And this pisswit Andy Harris, Republican from Maryland, blew out the gate with a two-fer.
Now everybody gets to know who he is!
It started with a hilarious moment during a debate on Tuesday night in Cambridge, Maryland, where somebody asked Harris a question, and when he started saying dumb Republican MAGA shit, they laughed and laughed, and OH BOY he had a meltdown.
Why have diesel prices gone up, Andy Harris? (It is Donald Trump’s inbred senile dumbfuck war in Iran.)
Transcript:
HARRIS: Because the Democrats have environmental regulations …
CROWD: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
HARRIS: [begins to angrily toss his poo, but underhand, like a Freedom Caucus guy whose dad never taught him how to throw poo like a man]
Oh boy, Andy Harris was stung.
“This is the problem! You all say you believe there’s a First Amendment, but only if you agree with you!”
Ah yes, it’s that thing where white Republican conservative losers think the First Amendment has a clause that says nobody is allowed to laugh at them.
“You should let me finish the sentence, ma’am. You are rude!”
Priss priss priss. Whine. Complain. Meltdown.
Viral.
We love his adorable belief that he had something good to say, like after he started an explanation of diesel prices by trying to blame it on Democrats, it was somehow going to get good and people would stop laughing at him, if they’d only let him finish the sentence, ma’am.
Was the full sentence “Democrats have these environmental regulations that might do something, might not, but the real problem is that Donald Trump is the only American president in recorded history stupid enough to be convinced to start a war with Iran, and now here we are”?
That would have been a good sentence. Maybe he was going to say that, ma’am.
Harris’s Democratic opponent Dan Schwartz had a better answer, which nobody laughed at:
“Making a deal with Russia to lift sanctions on their diesel when they are actively working with Iranian forces to kill our troops is not only wrong; it’s disgusting,” Schwartz said, “and it follows the pattern of this administration pardoning criminals.”
See? A good way to be taken seriously is to not be a Trump-fellating halfwit. Andy Harris should try it sometime.
But he didn’t try it directly after the debate, when he tried to have a reporter in the press gaggle arrested for … asking him questions. Apparently the halfwit thinks that because Maryland is a two-party consent state for recording that means that in a public press gaggle he can threaten to have reporters arrested/prosecuted for upsetting him.
See if you can follow this weenus’s whiny-ass bouncing balls (two different Zapruders provided of the congressman personally eliminating his own right ever to be taken seriously again):
Transcript:
HARRIS: You do NOT have my permission to record! If you record, we will refer you to the prosecutor!
He said this in a room full of people recording him, because they were reporters.
The reporter’s name was Cat Murphy with the Capital News Service, which is the newswire from the University of Maryland. In other words, he was having this little tantrum at a student reporter.
MURPHY: Everyone in here is recording.
She was correct, because she has the keen observation skills of a reporter who can identify “press gaggle.”
HARRIS: But you are not allowed to! We are in a two-party state! You are not allowed to!
MURPHY: Why am I not allowed to?
HARRIS: Because I refuse to give you permission to do reporting!
MURPHY: If everyone else in this room …
HARRIS: It doesn’t make a …
MURPHY: [to someone else, outsmarting the white MAGA silly boy in real time] Can you please hold my phone?
Oh, my god.
Harris angrily demanded, “Do you know the law?” (He was asking because he is confused about how two-party consent works, in public forums.)
When people started asking Harris if he understood the law — don’t take a drink right now, you will expectorate it on your mom — he replied that “AKSHULLY I’M A LEGISLATOR, AKSHULLY I KNOW THE LAW WELL.”
Because he’s a legislator. They are all experts on the law. Especially inbred MAGA Freedom Caucus Republicans.
Murphy continued trying to ask her questions. Congressman Karen demanded somebody go get the cops. “You’re gonna have to take her camera! She is violating the law! In fact, get an officer in here! She’s violating the law on two-party recording! We need an officer!”
Human constipation grunt Andy Harris continued confidently explaining Maryland’s two-party consent law, incorrectly.
Cook Political Report has Maryland’s First Congressional District (it is the section between the cities and Delaware) pegged as “Solid Republican,” but after seeing what an embarrassing dork baby their congressman is, maybe people in that district might want to look at a candidate who doesn’t cry and throw his poopies when people laugh at him or ask him questions. For instance, his opponent, Dan Schwartz, who after the debate responded to Harris’s histrionics by saying, “I really think we got a good look at our congressman tonight.”
The only poll we see on MD-01 only had Harris at 52 percent, to Schwartz’s 39. Surely some negative partisanship could fuck this loser out of a job? Anything is possible in 2026!
[New Republic / Baltimore Banner]
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Loser. Thin-skinned, needle-dicked, skinny white male, as worthless as teats on a boar.
Sure seems like that crowd was peaceably assembled to petition their government representative for a redress of grievances.