Laura Ingraham So Mad 'Barbie' Making Men Do Pilates While They Wait For Their Welfare And Their DoorDash Orders
We have no idea.
Full disclosure: We do not understand why the Barbie thing is a such a thing, so we cannot comment on it from a perspective of understanding the Barbie thing. [Editrix’s note, this is clearly Evan speaking for himself, because I absolutely understand why the Barbie thing is such a thing.]
We also do not understand how empty and dead inside a person would have to be, what a waste of a sad and useless human life, to be upset about the Barbie thing. (Or the Snow White thing. Or the Bud Light thing. Or the Target thing. Or the Cracker Barrel thing.)
So anyway, Laura Ingraham’s new show “Background Noise For Your Cats While They Wait For You To Get Home From Work” is going well. She had one of her weird walking nervous tic guests on last night, Raymond Arroyo, and they were talking about the Barbie.
Whining like a regular cool guy who was for sure popular in high school, Arroyo said the movie “takes America’s favorite doll from Barbie to harpy!” Ingraham laughed, because we guess she thought that was funny. (Can you imagine the jokes she must have laughed at when she was intentionally dating Dinesh D’Souza?) Arroyo also laughed at his own joke.
Then they started complaining that Barbie was an “anti-man” movie. Can you imagine if movies were ever anti-woman? Arroyo asked. Can you imagine if the Super Mario Brothers movie was about how ladies are a buncha idiots? No, they could not imagine a world where misogyny exists.
But the Barbie movie hates men! (Click over to Media Matters for the video.)
LAURA INGRAHAM: They don't want real men. I mean, they want pajama boys who sit around waiting for the government to send them a check, you know, as they get ready for their, you know, Pilates class in their, you know, leggings and wait for their next, you know, DoorDash order to come in. I mean, they don't — real men are a threat to them.
Is this a Bingo game? Does Ingraham win a prize for how many things she can say in one sentence that would upset the dog-brained shut-ins who watch her show? Are the fans at home clapping their hands every time she says a magic word, like Pee Wee?
“Pajama boys.” Yay!
“Government send them a check.” Yaaaaaaay!
“Pilates!” Yayyyyyyy wait huh?
“Leggings!” OK this is getting to be a little bit of a stretch.
“DoorDash!”
The hell? Fellas, does ordering from DoorDash make you gay?
Apparently in Laura Ingraham’s world it does. Or maybe she had a stroke right then and we just couldn’t tell. Because she just said that the Barbie movie is trying to create men who sit around in their pajamas waiting for their welfare while they’re getting ready for Pilates and putting on their leggings and also waiting for the DoorDash they ordered to arrive.
Well, folks, the nefarious agenda has been exposed. Not sure where we go from here.
RAYMOND ARROYO: Well, and this is insidious because feminists are taking over a doll they never really liked in the first place and using it as a Trojan horse to teach girls, 'Daddy is really a dummy or a domineering idiot.'
Laura Ingraham’s guest Raymond saw the Barbie movie and his takeaway was about “Daddy.” Okeydoke.
Again, we do not understand what it would be like to be a lunatic who is so upset about all the things all the time.
Matt Gaetz’s wife Ginger Gaetz, who is married to gross disgusting Matt Gaetz on purpose, who married him while the headlines were blazing about Gaetz’s yucky sexcapades, has lots of complaints about the Barbie movie, one of which is “Disappointingly low T from Ken.” We imagine sharing a bed with Matt Gaetz is such a high bar to clear in the “T” department.
On Jesse Watters’s new primetime show “Put A Cocktail Napkin Over Your Glass If You Get Up To Pee” last night, he bitched and cried that the cancellation of that dork Jason Aldean’s shitty song is tantamount to “open season on all of us.” (He also suggested Aldean wrote the song, as if shitty, record label-manufactured autotune country stars are capable of writing one fucking note of music.)
Sarah Huckabee Sanders is upset about Jason Aldean as well, bellyaching about CMT “cav[ing] to the woke mob.”
The Daily Wire guys? Who knew how much each of their masculinity was directly tied to fantasies that imaginary Snow White is a WHITE LADY DAMMIT? Matt Walsh is so upset about it and calling it “cultural appropriation.” Ben Shapiro is upset because Snow White is “like maybe the only racially specific white princess because it’s in the name.” Michael Knowles blubbered that the new Snow White “erases white people.”
Again, this what these people do every day of their joyless, inconsequential lives. Imagine if any of them ever spent five minutes doing something important.
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Jiminy Crickets, but right wingers are fragile and angry. Grow the fuck up! Not everybody is exactly the same, and further, anybody struggling to fit into the stupid "box" you've decided they must belong in is a miserable bastard. Which I guess is why they are, in fact, all miserable bastards.
"They don't want real men."
She fucked Dinesh D'Souza.