365 Comments

You're going down !

Expand full comment

hahahahahahahaha -- I cannot laughing.

Expand full comment

... caused by all those smashed Keurigs....

Expand full comment

I think that works out to a fractional Mom.

Expand full comment

I know that when Dad said that something was going "off to a farm", he generally meant that he was going to put something out of its misery.

Expand full comment

Tell me about it. I’ve been picking out of my poop for hours!

Expand full comment

Actually this makes me feel better because it suggests Fox News will be dead in 10 years.

Expand full comment

And plastic sheeting and duct tape! To save you from the dirty bombs!

Old article from BigThink: "(Glenn) Beck tells his audience to go to Goldline and buy whatever they recommend. Serious investors buy bullion coins, which are standardized coin-shaped chunks of gold valued entirely for their metal content. Wouldn't you know it? Goldline is pushing collector coins instead of bullion. The value of these so-called numismatic coins depends heavily on their appeal to collectors, which in turn depends on their aesthetic and historical properties. Guess what? Goldine is selling old gold coins of minimal collector value. If you want to invest in gold, the worst place to keep it is inside a numismatic coin. More to the point, Goldline is vastly overcharging its customers for these trinkets(...)"

Expand full comment

Decades ago when I was but a teen, my older brother was walking past our aged semi-feral mutt-cat Tom, splayed out in the yard, when he decided to manifest his supremacy over all things. He grabbed Tom by the hind legs, flipped him over and scrubbed his belly, then let him go and strode past me, laughing triumphantly.

A grey streak smashed into my thigh. I looked down an saw Tom, every single claw hooked into my jeans, glaring at me balefully. His expression melted away to mild annoyance as he realized he had the wrong person. There was a loud rprprprprp from the claws tearing free as he sprang off after my brother, who never knew what hit him. Tom pounced on his butt, scrambled up his back, smacked him in the head, then fled.

My brother wasn't wearing a shirt. He never fucked with Tom again. You were Best Cat, Tom, and I still miss you.

Expand full comment

And there's nothing like sitting down to a family meal, sharing a bar of 24K.

Expand full comment

And yet, in this case, her absence could be said to put other people out of their misery.

Expand full comment

Superb, Dok: On-site for school slaughter 1; Faux bitch: 0

Expand full comment

My spouse is from Toronto. He told me the story as, "There was a gangster called "No Wang Vo', until he got shot. Then there was no-more No Wang Vo."

Expand full comment

The Ingraham Angle is obtuse.

Expand full comment

Why limit ourselves to that single useless corporate harpy? Let's take down ALL of Fox News with advertiser boycotts!

Expand full comment

Twenty bucks at a time.

[Same as in town, Father]

Expand full comment