Let’s Enjoy Kash Patel Yelling And Getting Yelled At In The Senate

And more to come today, Day Two!

Every strongarm guy in politics needs useful-idiot underlings to take the fall for their own scandals and failures (see also blushing newlywed Oliver North)! And so it went for Kash Patel, who spent hours in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee on Tuesday.

Here’s the whole thing, if you have four hours to kill:

And upbraiding and bollix-kicks is probably how it will go some more while his testimony continues in the House today, starting at 10. Here’s a link, if you just can’t get enough of the guy.

What a party yesterday was! With name-calling, yelling, and Patel screaming in a Liverpool FC tie, because he is not a serious man. How far has come this grifter, who merely a year ago was selling children’s books and “Warrior Essentials spike protein recovery detox” pills for impressionable dumbshits who think people shedding vaccine particles all over each other like cat hair is a thing.

Of course the hearing comes with no threat of actual consequences for Patel, no matter how much of a bungling, pedophile-protecting, lying, manipulative little weirdo he keeps proving himself to be. Though insiders did recently leak to Fox that everyone who’s anyone in the administration (except Trump) now hates the guy, and he’s on his way to being sidelined in the basement next to Dan Bongino, so an angry sack of cottage cheese from Missouri who has also never worked for the FBI before can try to do KP and DB’s jobs for them.

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Is Kash Too Good At FBI-ing?

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Senator Dick Durbin ripped Ka$h one for his incompetence and partisan weaponization of the FBI, while Patel smeared Chapstick on his crusty lips and did that weird googly thing he does with his eyeballs. Durbin was disgusted with how Patel reportedly pulled a thousand FBI agents away from investigating things like child sex trafficking so they could spend their time combing through the Epstein Files looking for a certain president’s name, and how Patel botched the investigation into the shooting of Charlie Kirk and put out incorrect information.

But “deny everything” is the motto! Patel later still kept insisting to Senator Peter Welch of Vermont that saying the police had a subject in custody when they didn’t was not a mistake. “I don’t see it as a mistake. I see it as something — working with the public to identify that there was a subject in custody.”

If a subject is in custody, then what do you need to work with the public for? Oh, never mind.

And the senators had some Epstein Files questions, you bet. Even watery bowl of gumbo John Kennedy (R-Louisiana) did not buy Patel’s story that there is “no credible information” that Epstein trafficked girls to anyone’s weenus but his own, based on Patel’s claim he reviewed the files which also do not exist, which Trump said were also planted by Joe Biden. Just how stupid does he think everybody is?

There’s no evidence that Epstein trafficked girls to anyone else if you ignore the testimony from victims that helped convict Ghislaine Maxwell, and believe that most of the victims are liars. And that is what Patel expects everyone to believe! And he’d love to show everybody more Epstein Files, but not only do they not exist, a bunch of mean judges simply won’t let him show them to everybody, because of that “original sin in the Epstein case” deal made by Trump’s first-term Labor secretary Alexander Acosta. And you can’t see that deal either, or know who is a party to it. But don’t blame Ka$h, he just works there!

Of course there’s plenty of other things the DOJ could release without a judge’s order, like, say, that missing three minutes of jailhouse footage that Pam Bondi cut out of a video she released, for reasons still unexplained.

But you are here for the screaming! Patel started hollering at Senator Adam Schiff of California that he was a LIAR and a FRAUD after the Democrat had the nerve and gall to question if firings at the FBI were partisan. A lawsuit filed by three former agents alleges that Patel told former acting director Brian Driscoll in an early August conversation that his bosses “had directed him to fire anyone who they identified as having worked on a criminal investigation against President Donald J. Trump.”

And Senator Cory Booker (D-New Jersey) gave him some real what-for shaming that touched a nerve and got Patel yelling: “I think you’re not going to be around long. I think this might be your last oversight hearing. As much as you supplicate yourself to the will of Donald Trump and not the Constitution of the United States of America, Donald Trump is not loyal to people like you. He will cut you loose.” And Patel bitchslapped back that doing wrongthink to Patel was dividing the country, and, oh, just watch.

Also, he added Miami and St. Louis to the next-cities-to-be-invaded list, after Memphis and maybe New Orleans, so gird your loins, we guess, and maybe now Baltimore is in the clear? Fascists always love to keep everybody guessing!

But, as incompetent as Patel is, it probably won’t be his endtimes at the FBI. An administration official told a reporter after SignalGate that Trump was not going to fire anyone and “give you guys a scalp,” and he’s so far stuck to that policy, no matter how bungling his underlings have been. Instead, like Hegseth, Patel, and Bongos, the administration just slides in other people to do their jobs for them, so they can get back to playing Helldivers 2 or drinking fifths of Wild Turkey, or whatever it is that they do all day.

But the Senate can sure yell at them all. Yell, Senate, yell!

[Guardian / NPR /Atlantic archive link]

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