Let's Watch Trump Fuck Up The White House Easter Egg Roll!

So many Easter eggs, you're gonna get sick of Easter eggs.

It's a day in the Trump administration, which means it's as good a time as any to fuck something up. Lucky for the White House, today is the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, which was SO FUN during the Obama years. Thousands of kiddies would join Beyoncé and Michelle Obama and President Bamz, who would read Where The Wild Things Are  and make monster faces at them, and they would eat some ham probably, and then do the dumb thing where they roll Easter eggs, instead of just hunting for them. Whatever. It was great.

But now a new administration is in town, and it is bad at everything. Also, it does not seem to understand that, on top of all the fun things about presidenting, like MAKE BOMB GO BOOM, it is also supposed to continue longstanding traditions like the egg roll doohickey event. We've already heard the stories about how oopsie, they kind of didn't even start planning this event until two weeks ago, since Melania Trump, who is theoretically first lady but lives in Manhattan, isn't doing shit and the East Wing isn't staffed.

But look, it's fine. They pulled it together, Melania picked FOUR DIFFERENT COLOR EGGS, and also gold eggs, because it wouldn't be a Trump event if there wasn't a tacky gold thing. Can you imagine picking four different colors, for eggs? Melania Trump can, because she did it.

To get an idea of how much joy is being spread to children young and old at today's event, here is Attorney General Jeff Sessions, reading the book It's Not Easy Being A Bunny to some kids, but then stopping to tell the kids Donald Trump was walking out on the balcony. Oh look! There he is! And also there is Melon Trump! And SOMEBODY is dressed up as the Easter Bunny! Is it Sean Spicer? No, that is Sean Spicer's OLD job. Now he lies for the president and talks about how Hitler's Six Flags Over The Holocaust Centers weren't as bad as what the Syrian president, Bessie Al-Bashir or whatever his name is, does to his people.

Is the Easter bunny Jared Kushner? Is it Satan incarnate AKA President Bannon? IT IS A MYSTERY!

Wow, Trump's intro is several claps shy of a "smattering." Zero kids applaud. #EasterEggRoll   pic.twitter.com/kondFsOCRt 

— Tommy Christopher (@tommyxtopher) April 17, 2017