338 Comments

She looks twenty years younger, and she's fairly attractive. She definitely got "de-croned" by a very talented surgeon.

Expand full comment

I laugh at myself every time I defend Trump, but I hate Cruz so much that it borders on revulsion. I'd vote for Dick Cheney before I'd vote for Ted Cruz.

Expand full comment

Lindsey's like your old uncle (or aunt, maybe?) who's passing through the sweet spot in early dementia when zhe's still semi-cogent, but lost all checks-and-balances on saying whatever-the-fuck's on hir mind.

Expand full comment

Cruz is the anti-Christ. I'd even bet his middle name is Damien.

Expand full comment

In the book "How to Talk Minnesotan" (available at Amazon), we learn that Minnesotans tend to express disapproval without directly saying so by saying "That's different."

Lindsey Graham on Ted Cruz: "He's different." Lindsey Graham is a closet Minnesotan, obvs.

Expand full comment

Palin Wisdom.

Expand full comment

Once again, no sympathy. This batshit crazy didn't just happen overnight because the stars aligned. It was nurtured, encouraged, used as a blunt object against every Democrat with the audacity to fail to knuckle under to the oligarchs, and most specifically the darkie in the White House. You went along with it when the party establishment was throwing the red meat to the junkyard dogs, but the dogs don't care who gives them the meat. They just care about getting fed, and they'll do anything, savage anyone, to get that.

Expand full comment

I want to see if Ted treats his former opponents now endorsers any better than Drumpf does.

Expand full comment

It'll be known in the history books as the Red Fundraiser.

Expand full comment

We laugh because it's funny, but we also laugh because it's true.

Expand full comment

Exactly.

Expand full comment

It should be noted that only monkeys in captivity fling poop and do so out of boredom. Monkeys in the wild have more than enough to keep themselves occupied so they don't have to descend to such idiotic behavior. Which certainly puts them way ahead of the current GOP.

Expand full comment

Here in Ohio, good luck getting a third party on the ballot. The systems rigged in favor of Democrats and Republicans, and anything else can go fuck itself. I think third parties have to submit nominating petitions with valid signatures equal o ten percent of the total votes cast in the previous presidential election.

Expand full comment

"The enemy of my enemy ... is still a freakin' asshole, but Imma help him raise campaign dosh to try to beat an even bigger asshole."

-- ancient Palmetto state saying

Expand full comment

or as my old Boss used to put it, "you grew it, you chew it".

Man, she was the best boss ever.

Expand full comment

Why isn't the entire Republican Party scratching their ass and wondering why their three remaining candidates for the nomination are Trump (racist fascist), Cruz (arrogant, obstructionist, anti-Christ psychopath), and Kasich (who just barely carried his home state after spending a month campaigning only there and pouring all of his resources into it because he is so beloved). Why aren't they just declaring it a bust, call off the convention, and sponsor a retreat where they spend a year in silent contemplation trying to figure out where it all went so wrong?

Expand full comment