LIVE: America Makes Self Great Again, Begins Holding Donald Trump Accountable For Crimes Against Republic

If you're happy and you know it, fuck around and find out.

Evan Hurst

Aug 3, 2023

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Today is a day for somber reflection on how America ever got to the point that we must indict and arraign a former president for trying to literally overthrow the government.

LMAO just kiddin’, we should have buried Richard Nixon under the jail back in 1974. Maybe if we had, Republicans wouldn’t feel so free to be be such fucking goddamned traitors now.

“Blah blah blah,” you will hear pundits saying with their idiot mouths, "Crossing the Rubicon, doy doy doy doy doy.” Nope. Shut up. This is literally America’s chance to actually prove that we are still a country that can handle its shit.

If we cannot do this, if we cannot give a man who literally tried to destroy the Republic and conspired to steal the votes of the giant majority of Americans who voted against him the consequences he deserves, then we are far further gone than we knew.

The historian Anne Applebaum tweeted this morning:

“If the Republican Party responds to the Trump indictment solely by attacking courts and judges, and if its leaders congtinue to work to delegitimize the legal system, I am not sure how we recover. For a precedent, Americans don’t even have to look beyond our hemisphere: Venezuela is an excellent example of [a] state that slid into autocracy while an elected president repeatedly assaulted judges.”

She added, “(amazing bot response to this btw…)” about an hour later.

Applebaum is the expert, but we don’t think there’s a Republican reckoning coming. At this point, our best guess is that it will fully devolve into an insurgent separatist movement that will attempt to destroy this country until it literally is powerless to do so.

(Reading the possible forecasts of this very cool futurist right here, that moment may be coming sooner than later. Y’all think the power centers of the Republican Party don’t know that? Their eagerness to defend their democracy-murdering traitor god and their knowledge of what’s coming down the pike are intimately related.)

Trump announced his departure from Bedminster thus:

“I AM NOW GOING TO WASHINGTON, D.C., TO BE ARRESTED FOR HAVING CHALLENGED A CORRUPT, RIGGED, & STOLEN ELECTION. IT IS A GREAT HONOR, BECAUSE I AM BEING ARRESTED FOR YOU. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”

Uh huh. So he does know how to spell “stolen.” Just like he does know that, in truth and in actuality, he lost the damn election.

His campaign also sent out pages upon pages of attacks on Jack Smith and his wife. Is that a good idea? Or is it not that? Oh well, fuck it, not our concern.

Here are a couple livestreams of the worst day of Donald Trump’s life so far, which we may watch secure in the knowledge that his days only get worse from here. Unfortunately we won’t be able to see inside the courtroom, so we can’t see the looks on his stupid face during the main event.