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Elviouslyqueer's avatar

Karine, we Southerners have the whole "politely insulting someone so bad they don't realize they're thanking you after having been cut stem to stern and are bleeding out all over the carpet" thing on lock. May I suggest using one (or more!) of these the next time Doocy pipes up with some ridiculous horseshit:

1) Bless your heart

2) I'll pray for you

3) Not today, Satan

4) What would your mama say?

5) Well, that was certainly a question full of words

6) We've reserved a spot for you at the kid's table

7) Aren't you the star pupil today?

8) It's all right, sugar, you'll be fine

I'm sure there's more, but at least this will give you a running start. And remember, everything is sweeter with a smile.

Much love,

EQ

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Pat Kolmer's avatar

BREAKING! I'm doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet!

As long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.

And Wednesday.

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