Liza Minnelli's Favorite Five-Ingredient Appetizer! (It's Potato Skins.) Tabs, Wed., March 27, 2024

They're to hold the caviar. Morning news roundup!

Not Liza Minnelli, but so close! Gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Justices Alito and Thomas want to know why the FDA didn’t use the Comstock Act to arrest all the mifepristone (and therefore also birth control). Strap in, ladies, it’s going to be a wild ride. (Jezebel) AP says it doesn’t sound like the rest of the Court’s going for it. We’ll see! (AP) One more, this one appropriately savage: Shitty Erin Hawley’s sloppy little lawsuit. (Balls and Strikes)

Yes, Joe Biden should pardon the whistleblower who joined the IRS just so he could leak those billionaire bitches’ (lack of) taxes. Hero. Every word of this argument is correct. (Slate)

And linked therein is this report showing “35 major U.S. corporations — including famous names like Ford, Netflix and Tesla — paid less in federal income taxes between 2018 and 2022 than they paid their top five executives. All 35 were cumulatively profitable over that five-year span.” That’s fucked up, son! (Institute for Policy Studies)

Meet Nicole Shanahan, the megadonor tech attorney who used to be married to the Google guy, who bought RFK Jr. his Super Bowl ad, and whom he’s just named as his vice presidential pick. She looks like a pretty the Grinch! (Gift link Washington Post)

Missouri AG Andrew Bailey is suing Media Matters for the tort of being mean to Elon Musk, and right there at the top of Bailey’s press release, which is not to my knowledge protected under any court … doctrine … thingie, there’s this:

“Today, Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey filed suit against Media Matters to force the nonprofit to turn over documents related to his investigation into its fraudulent business practices.”

Media Matters, you just got libeled. You should motherfucking sue.

Here is how you short (or “put” I guess? so your losses don’t go way up if MBS decides to prop it up?) the Truth Social stocks. (Investopedia)

Where the Baltimore port’s indefinite closing will affect supply chains. (Bloomberg)

From the comments, Well There’s Your Problem:

Republicans want to defund the police. (Bulwark)

They should start here. NYPD deploying 800 cops into the subway not to stop scary violent crime, but rather to stop fare evasion. As noted on Bluesky, this program paid $151 million to stop $100,000 in turnstile jumping. It’s the broken windows theory of subway safety: Only people without $2.90 murder other people. (Gothamist)

Coeur d’Alene, man. Just being racist and shitty and scary and terrible, again, “women college basketball players” edition. (KSL)

Property taxes, school funding, and the old deluder Satan. As usual, The White Pages is delightful and true.

You guys know that I believe this, right? Like I’m 30 percent kidding but 70 percent serious. The only way our Trumpian timeline makes sense is that goddamn Large Hadron Collider weasel. (Daily Star)

The Olive Garden Hot Dog. Good luck, Food Is Stupid guy, we love you!

Hell yeah, Liza Minnelli. Hell yeah, Liza Minnelli’s potato skins with caviar and vodka, hell yeah. (All Recipes)

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