LMAO This Dumb Candygram Hannity Is Sending To Republicans Who Won't Vote For Jim Jordan

This is supposed to be intimidating.

HOT BREAKING UPDATE on the very serious and adult Republican process for choosing a new speaker of House: dunno. Don’t really fuckin’ care, to be brutally honest.

As of this morning, it wasn’t looking great for the dumb white coach who escaped from the Ohio State wrestling gym. It’s being said that there will be a challenger tomorrow when they all try to vote, and this morning Punchbowl said there are still “double-digit” number of Republicans hellbent committed to opposing Jordan, enough “Never Jordans” to make sure he doesn’t get to be speaker, now or ever.

So of course Jimbo the Clown and his people have been trying their own MAGA-style intimidation campaign.

First of all, that’s why they’re going to go ahead and force a vote (many votes?) tomorrow on the floor, because they want to peer pressure the Republicans who are “no” votes into flipping. (That’s not how you whip votes, or maybe it is if you’re a MAGA Republican baby child. Sorry, we’re just used to that thing where Democrats vote together when they’re supposed to because they know how to govern.)

Meanwhile, Juliegrace Brufke from Axios reports that Sean Hannity’s show is sending out the following bully email to Republicans who hate Jim Jordan like all patriotic Americans do. Check out this pantload of clownassery:

Oh my God LMAO.

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Why Jim Jordan Cryin'? Because Those Ohio State Sex Abuse Victims STILL Won't Shut Up And Wrestle!

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If we were a member of Congress and we received this letter, we would laugh for DAYS. But we are a Democrat.

Democratic congresspeople are stronger humans than Republicans, who have demonstrated since Donald Trump waddled down that escalator in 2015 that they are pathetic cowards who are scared of literally everything, including their own shadows.

If Democratic reps got this letter, first of all, we wouldn’t hear it from Axios, we’d hear it because Swalwell or somebody posted it on Twitter the second they got it. Also we’re trying to imagine a hilarious world where, like, Maddow or Joy Reid sends members of Congress mean candygrams to intimidate them into voting for lib stuff.

We sincerely hope the Republican recipients think this is as funny as we do.

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Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw, who is stupid/craven enough that he’s actually supporting Jim Jordan, took a pee on the strategy last night on CNN, as Playbook reported this morning:

“That is the dumbest way to support Jordan,” Rep. DAN CRENSHAW (R-Texas) said on CNN last night. “As somebody who wants Jim Jordan, the dumbest thing you can do is to continue pissing off those people and entrench them.”

Well, if a guy that daft gets it.

By the way, in that same CNN appearance, Jake Tapper asked Crenshaw if he was really OK with voting for Jim Jordan, considering how Jordan was such an active participant in the plot to overturn the election Donald Trump lost, voting against certifying electoral votes and defying subpoenas from the J6 Committee and so much more. And Crenshaw — that dumbass who totally wants you to believe he’s some kind of moderate reasonable guy — said, “But a lot of them did that! If I held that grudge, I wouldn’t have friends in the Republican conference!”

Bless his heart, we don’t think he made the point he was setting out to make right there.

Or as Ian Bassin from Protect Democracy puts it, in this tweet Charlie Sykes pointed out in his morning newsletter:

Anyway, fuck all these people, let’s watch ‘em fail some more tomorrow.

OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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