Lobbyists' Lobby To Drop 'Lobbyist' From Its Name, In Best Rebranding Since 'Xe'

A group that advocates for K Street -- the lobbyist lobby, pretty much -- will change its name to remove the word "lobbyist,"  The Hill  reports:

The board of the American League of Lobbyists (ALL) announced Tuesday it has recommended to members that the group change its name to the Association of Government Relations Professionals.

The group says the board “overwhelmingly” backed the name change as a way to more accurately “represent the range of associated professions involved in the government affairs, lobbying and public affairs community.”

Because while "lobbyist" sounds kind of sleazy, "government relations professional" sounds like it's nearly invisible, which is obviously the goal. Yr Wonkette will only support the change if the new AGRP is pronounced appropriately, as "A Grope."

The president of the group, Monte Ward, was reportedly "thrilled" by the board's acceptance of the new name, a degree of enthusiasm which suggests that he is absolutely the right person for his job. The name change must still be approved by a 2/3 vote of the membership.

The name change will be accompanied by the addition of a tag-line, “Voice of the Lobbying, Public Policy and Advocacy Professions," so that the name will not be so utterly euphemistic as to create confusion.

Also, Yr Wonkette wishes to congratulate this clear-eyed analysis:

Nick Allard, the dean of Brooklyn Law School and partner at K Street king Patton Boggs, opposes the change, which he says is purely cosmetic. He likens the issue to a character on a British sitcom called “Keeping up Appearances.”

The woman, “the annoyingly cloying Mrs. Bucket,” Allard describes, insists “her name be pronounced ‘boo-kay’ like a fine floral arrangement. No matter what she calls herself, she isn’t fooling anyone.”

Though, “as long as [clients] can find you in the directory, I suppose it doesn’t matter what they call you,” Allard said.

We're fairly certain that in general usage, "lobbyist" is unlikely to be replaced by "Government Relations Professional" anytime soon. Then again, if our suggested pronunciation is adopted, who knows -- maybe we can dream of a day when Congress investigates questionable campaign contributions from Gropers.

[ The Hill ]