Looks Like Loser Stock Market Still Has Trump Derangement Syndrome!

Probably also a case of the woke.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, look at those stock markets crumble! Asian ones, Australian ones, from East to West and North and South, near, far and wherever you are, a historic $6 trillion stock market crash (SO FAR), and hedge fund managers are talking about “nuclear winter.” There was a brief blip Monday morning with a rumor that old goldfish brain might change his mind and make an extension on the TARIFF EVERYBODY plan, but NOPE! White House said FAKE NEWS, NO EXTENSIONS! And stocks are back to swirling the basin.

JPMorgan has lifted the odds for a US and global recession to 60 percent, and short sellers and those with strong cash positions are licking their bear-chops. Even crypto is crashing (though by less).

Any remaining investors who thought before the weekend that maybe Donald Trump was maybe going to change his mind have now realized he is probably really serious.

Art O’Deal TruthSocialed a video on Friday from some Xitter account called American Papa Bear about how he is crashing the markets on purpose, playing a “secret game” to push cash into treasuries and force the Fed to lower interest rates in a “wild chess move” that’s “genius” and endorsed by Warren Buffett and going to lower the price of eggs any day now, you betcha!

The plan is not endorsed by Warren Buffett. (He clarified this loudly this weekend.) And food prices are not down. Interest rates and oil prices are down … because the economy is starting to tank.

And if THAT wasn’t enough to make markets panic, on Sunday Trump denied he was crashing the market on purpose, ANNDDBUUUT “sometimes you have to take medicine,” which sure sounds like tanking the markets on purpose, and coincidentally was also the opinion of Jack Torrance from The Shining right before he tried to axe-murder his family.

Also panicking the exchanges, the tariffs Trump says are reciprocal are actually not, and not based on foreign countries’ trade barriers at all. His big-brain formula is a percentage of bilateral trade deficits, the percent more we are buying from other countries than they are buying from us, not how much countries are charging purchasers of American goods. And there is nothing wrong with trade deficits, as that is and how trade works. I too have a “trade deficit,” with Costco, of groceries, because they don’t accept Wonkette articles as payment and I can’t grow all my food in my backyard. That is what trade is.

The man and his minions are stupid or lying, and both are bad. (Speaking of his minions, remember that Trump got many of his most genius tariffs ideas from his favorite econ crank Peter Navarro, who got them from “Ron Vara,” an imaginary “expert” he made up that is just an anagram of his last name. Really.)

And how long is this secret, wild chess-move medicine-taking supposed to last? Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said “smooth” and “short-term,” and the Big Boss says oh, maybe two years.

“Let's say it's a two-year process,” he told reporters Friday.

You know, they start a plant, and they're big plants. We're giving them approval to also, in many cases, to build the electric facility with it. So, you have electric generation and the plant, and they're big plants. Now, the good news is a lot of money for them, and they can build them fast, but they're still very big plants. I'd always say it would take a year-and-a-half to two years.

A new two-year power plant, in THIS economy?

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What Are Trump’s Dumbass Tariffs REALLY About? Let Sen. Chris Murphy Learn Ya!

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Trade Secretary Howard “Long Bond, Short Sell” Lutnick plotzed to Margaret Brennan on “Face the Nation”: “Trillions of dollars of factories are going to be built in America. That's huge GDP. The factories being built in America are huge GDP!”

Who’ll be investing in those factories at double the prices? Maybe those GOLD VISA Russian oligarchs? And then what and who will be in these factories? Why, millions of screws, and an army of millions of human beings screwing in screws, into iPhones, and into robots that build the iPhones, and repairing the air conditioning that temperature-controls the robots! But eventually American workers will get jobs tending the robots!

Oh, you just have to watch.

MARGARET BRENNAN: And you said that robots are going to fill those jobs. So those aren't union worker jobs.

SEC. LUTNICK: No, it's really automated jobs. It's automated factories- automated factories. But the key is, who's going to build the factories? Who's going to operate the factories? Who's going to make them work? Great American workers. You know, we are going to replace--

MARGARET BRENNAN: You said robots on other networks. You said that to FOX.

SEC. LUTNICK: --the armies of millions of people- well, remember, the army of millions and millions of human beings screwing in little- little screws to make iPhones, that kind of thing is going to come to America. It's going to be automated and great Americans- the tradecraft of America, is going to fix them, is going to work on them. They're going to be mechanics. There's going to be HVAC specialists. There's going to be electricians, the tradecraft of America.

Hey, you hear that, high-school students of America? You will soon have it as good as iPhone builders of Shenzhen, though instead of screwing, we mean tradecrafting, the tiny screws in iPhones, you will screw tiny screws into the robots that screw the tiny screws into the iPhones. YOU SHALL BE ROBOT OVERLORDS! Sounds amazing.

So, yeah, all these very bad and very stupid messages are very not calming to the markets.

Also, where is Congress to stop this? Investors all over the world are wondering. The American economy has always been the backbone of the world because everybody assumed that ONE MAN would not have the power to wreck the entire thing on some kind of nihilistic whim. And while Republican senators, even the loyalist dumbshits, appear to be in panic mode, they are not yet fully panicked enough to work together for a bill to call off the tariffs, or a plan to work with Democrats to override Dictator Day One’s veto. There is a bill in the Senate to rein in Trump’s tariff power that has seven Republican cosponsors so far, but Speaker Christian Fascist Bootlicker would have to agree to take it up in the House. So.

So, the market’s going down, down, down, Rock Lobster.

Unless Art O’Deal changes his mind again!

In the meantime, don’t check your savings.

[WSJ gift link / Daily Beast archive]

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