Genius. Greetings, fellow conservative Christian Americans! We are gathered here today because it is the sexxxiest, most holiest weekend of the year, like even more holier than when Jesus tooketh the sins of the world upon Him, was crucified, died and was buried, and on the third day was raised again. Yes, that's right, it's time for the VALUES VOTER SUMMIT. You see,
Now, see, Louie Gohmert is a perfect example of why I could never be God. If I was the most powerful entity in the universe, there's no way I could put up with Louie's shit.
Oh, you're talking about the kid. Word of advice. Don't mention him around the old man. The Father's just waiting for the Son to straighten up and fly right so he can turn the family business over to him and retire.
I gave a friend who doesn't drive a ride to a Catholic church doing an end of life seminar. She thought they'd have info on living wills and such.
We get there, an, up on the screen they've got "The Dignity of Natural Death."
My first thought was that the Roman Centurion who stabbed Jesus in the heart while he was on the cross was a common murderer who denied Jesus the dignity of a natural death.
Well, we know he couldn't roll that stone aside until sundown Saturday because of the Sabbath. For all we know, that stone got tossed right after sundown, and he spent Saturday night giving Mary Magdalene the high hard one.
Reminds me of Christopher Moore's "Lamb." Maybe Biff shouldn't have stopped Josh (Jesus) from adding one more "blessed" to the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the dumbfucks for they, uh--I don't know--they shall never be disappointed."
Then again, maybe the dumbfucks would be covered by one of the original versions of the "blesseds" according to "Lamb": "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, [for they will get] a fruit basket." These "Christians" think they're being persecuted, and they think they're oh-so-righteous. So...maybe Christ will just give them a fruit basket and shove them out of the doors to the Kingdom. Who knows? :P
Now, see, Louie Gohmert is a perfect example of why I could never be God. If I was the most powerful entity in the universe, there's no way I could put up with Louie's shit.
Ya think all the Gohmerts in Congress will refuse to show up for her first State of the Union because she's a woman?
Oh, you're talking about the kid. Word of advice. Don't mention him around the old man. The Father's just waiting for the Son to straighten up and fly right so he can turn the family business over to him and retire.
I gave a friend who doesn't drive a ride to a Catholic church doing an end of life seminar. She thought they'd have info on living wills and such.
We get there, an, up on the screen they've got "The Dignity of Natural Death."
My first thought was that the Roman Centurion who stabbed Jesus in the heart while he was on the cross was a common murderer who denied Jesus the dignity of a natural death.
The good old days. We forget, but the Inquisition was still going strong in Germany into the mid 1500's.
Well, we know he couldn't roll that stone aside until sundown Saturday because of the Sabbath. For all we know, that stone got tossed right after sundown, and he spent Saturday night giving Mary Magdalene the high hard one.
I can't imagine him as a judge.
They have their own train!
Tell him about the Twinkie.
Uh, I don't think the Skwerl was talking about Hillary.
Louie Gohmert, the world's only living brain donor.
Something, something asparagus.
I hear tech patent cases are also heard there. Also considered normal.
> Darrell Issa> white
ISWYDT
Reminds me of Christopher Moore's "Lamb." Maybe Biff shouldn't have stopped Josh (Jesus) from adding one more "blessed" to the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the dumbfucks for they, uh--I don't know--they shall never be disappointed."
Then again, maybe the dumbfucks would be covered by one of the original versions of the "blesseds" according to "Lamb": "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, [for they will get] a fruit basket." These "Christians" think they're being persecuted, and they think they're oh-so-righteous. So...maybe Christ will just give them a fruit basket and shove them out of the doors to the Kingdom. Who knows? :P
Or as Charlie Pierce calls him "The Padishah Emperor of the paste eaters"
Or not smite asshole who able their bad behavior on me.