For a brief moment yesterday, yr Wonkette knew in our blackened heart a moment of the purest, most unfettered joy such as we had never felt before. Purer than when we got that Atari 2600 we wanted for Hanukkah or the first time we touched some boobies. For just a moment we were free of the careworn chains we drag through our earthly life. We were a being of pure energy, soaring through the clouds above the mountains and deserts and oceans of Creation, reveling in the sheer amazing gift of a ravishing sunset, a majestic forest, our one true love’s smile.
Oh Louie, you don't even know how to tease. You could at least have had the decency to charter a star-spangled bus and take Sarah Palinesque "vacations" to Iowa.
Can we start the rumor that he IS still thinking about running, and this announcement was not so much saying he's NOT running, but instead, an ironic figurative satirical literal statement about Louie getting brand new hair implants?
The real tragedy is that we will never get to see the Gohmert for Preznit battle flag, a version of the Gadsden flat showing a coiled shoot of a green vegetable with the slogan "Don't Asperse on my Asparagus."
"To more completely describe his actual beliefs, Congressman Gohmert notes the Kennedy-Nixon debates created a line of demarcation beyond which television became the critical factor in being elected President which also meant there would be no more bald Presidents in his lifetime."
Wait, was that genuine self-deprecating humor? For the first time ever (and I'm sure the last) I actually find him slightly likeable.
What with all the high fallutin' scoundrels going on about this and that and casting aspersions on Louis Gohmert's asparagus and seeing how Texas is full of dinosaurs and what have you and the fact that some of them there dinosaurs are doggone vegetarians why I sure do think old Gohmert's done got askeered someone's gonna eat up all his vegetables...
Friggin' Organians
We can hope.
Patrick Stewart, OTOH, has a shot.
Damn, he's wearing Rand Paul's hair there!
The musical?
N DRump!
Between the Trekkies and The Gheys, a pretty good chunk of the men, also, too.
Oh Louie, you don't even know how to tease. You could at least have had the decency to charter a star-spangled bus and take Sarah Palinesque "vacations" to Iowa.
Can we start the rumor that he IS still thinking about running, and this announcement was not so much saying he's NOT running, but instead, an ironic figurative satirical literal statement about Louie getting brand new hair implants?
The real tragedy is that we will never get to see the Gohmert for Preznit battle flag, a version of the Gadsden flat showing a coiled shoot of a green vegetable with the slogan "Don't Asperse on my Asparagus."
And here I thought it was because hes a Ferenghi.
"To more completely describe his actual beliefs, Congressman Gohmert notes the Kennedy-Nixon debates created a line of demarcation beyond which television became the critical factor in being elected President which also meant there would be no more bald Presidents in his lifetime."
Wait, was that genuine self-deprecating humor? For the first time ever (and I'm sure the last) I actually find him slightly likeable.
So he's a dick & a dick tease? So close to the trifecta.
There is still hope that frothy Rick will run...
What with all the high fallutin' scoundrels going on about this and that and casting aspersions on Louis Gohmert's asparagus and seeing how Texas is full of dinosaurs and what have you and the fact that some of them there dinosaurs are doggone vegetarians why I sure do think old Gohmert's done got askeered someone's gonna eat up all his vegetables...
http://media3.giphy.com/med...
You can't spell "Dumb Texan" without a YEEHAW, son