Louisiana Votes To Keep Blowjobs, Buttsechs Illegal, Apparently Has Nothing Better To Do

Tuesday was a great day for supporters of decency and good clean living in Louisiana, as the state House of Representatives rejected a bid to formally repeal the state's unconstitutional anti-sodomy law. Oh, sure, they all know the law is unconstitutional, but that's no reason not to keep it on the books, because it sends a very clear message that God and the state do not approve of what the vast majority of adults like to do in bed. The House voted 67-27 to reject the measure, with 11 members not voting, because voting is just one more thing your member should not be doing.

Just for shits and giggles, a House committee had voted 9-6 last week to move the repeal bill to the full House, muttering something about it being stupid to keep an invalid law on the books, but the "Christian Louisiana Family Forum" lobbied long and hard to preserve the completely symbolic blowjob ban. The group sent a letter to every member (haha) of the legislature urging them not to repeal it, making the persuasive claim that if the state didn't keep an unenforceable law against oral and anal sex on the books, sexual predators would be more likely to prey on Louisiana teenagers. The letter added that the meaningless law "is consistent with the values of Louisiana residents who consider this behavior to be dangerous, unhealthy and immoral."

The attempt to repeal the law came after everyone pointed and laughed really loud at the state last year, when deputies from East Baton Rouge Parish attempted to arrest men in a sting operation using the completely invalid statute. Following the debacle, in which the Parish sheriff eventually issued a grudging sorry-not-sorry apology, Rep. Patricia Haynes Smith introduced the repeal bill in an attempt to make other Americans a little less likely to roll their eyes and say, "sheesh, friggin' Louisiana!" Rep. Smith said, after the defeat,

"I never thought it would pass, but I thought it would do better... Some of the folks who voted to get it out of committee voted against it on the floor."

She then quietly reminded herself that she lives in Louisiana, and that she should be grateful that the Legislature hasn't yet taken up a bill to require women to just sit politely and nod when the men are talking, y'hear?

[ Times-Picayune ]

 Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He regrets the offensive Southern stereotype in this piece's final paragraph, but will not apologize for it.