2470 Comments
User's avatar
San Avi's avatar

hahahahhahahaa LOVE the wonkette!! I'm currently budgetarily challenged, but as soon i can comfortably give an F, I'll pay to be an insider.

motmelere's avatar

I forgot about Mac a ninny.

OrdinaryJoe's avatar

I'll never understand walking around wearing a necklace with a massive crucifix that makes you look like you mugged a nun.

Stephen St John's avatar

Nothing like lying with a big smile on your face while wearing a crucifix.

The Horned Tulip God's avatar

*Scurries off to look up a picture of Matthew Boyle*

Holy crap, he is an ambulatory bowl of cookie dough! Overhyped mainstream boring ice cream flavor that doesn't come close to the freshly made room temperature dough. Which is now ruined forever for me. THANKS WONKETTE.

fawkedifiknow's avatar

Here's one of those ubiquitous math questions we are bothered with all the time on the internets: Karoline is 28 and her husband is 58. How many years before she is half his age?

mzf's avatar

" ... How many years before she is half his age? "

2 years.

She'll be 30 and he'll be 60.

Sorry to be so geeky!

larry gassan's avatar

Sixty nine. Next question.

Chris Perkins's avatar

Goodness I fear she'll be returning to the seacoast area of NH ahead of another shitty run at the NH-1 district in 2028. I'll be sure to welcome her with the same salute if I spot here around Portsmouth.

verne's avatar

doesn't she still have unpaid vendors to the tune of 6 figures from her 1st campaign?

Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

I understand that tRump called 80 times while she was on leave. Laura Loomer FTW.

larry gassan's avatar

Karolyin will take her nasty slash-mouth lips home to her Daddy.

455 Rocket Cat, Space Donkey's avatar

July was the hottest month ever recorded, over 3 degrees above average. We are beyond all predictive models now for catastrophic warming. I hate people, dumb people especially. We were given brains to use.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

Nature will be fine. Us not so much.

455 Rocket Cat, Space Donkey's avatar

Sixth Mass Extinction underway…a lot of species are actually not fine. Many, such as pollinators. are critical to survival, and no, a robot drone swarm is not the solution.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

Yes, true, but nature, across natures time span, will produce fantastic new life on a pristine wild planet! It has happened many times before.

Mighty Little Dog's avatar

That is freaking happening now, and its so catastrophic in its implications that nobody is admitting it yet.

Noma Larkey's avatar

It both terrifies me and pisses me off at the same time.

Shocktreatment's avatar

As we travel from potential suck into kinetic suck...

"Gonna be a hot one!" Just like grampa used to predict.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

The new normal is that there is no more normal

Storms will be stronger, and more of them. Heat will be hotter, and last longer. Cold snaps will be sudden and severe.

Good thing we fubared half our weather reporting machines

Bobathonic's avatar

Everyone loves a surprise.

Bobathonic's avatar

< grabs Jen by the shoulders >

WHOA! SAVED YOUR LIFE!

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

omg prophetic. I just had a tree almost fall on me XD Your timely service must have saved me

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

WAAAIIITTTT wait wait wait wait

PRIVATELY they were all willing and helpful? But you never reported what they said privately?

I mean.

Jesus fuck the press. They used you as bait for a missile! Grow a damn spine!

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

You'd think they would outraged after the WHCD "attempt" ... gawd.

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

But she was nice to us in private!

Jesus fuck. I mean how can they not see why we've lost trust in them?

Randy Bender's avatar

They don't care. It makes them feel powerful to be able to lie to our faces and never suffer accountability nor consequences, quite the opposite in fact, as they get richer and are rewarded with even louder platforms the more outrageously they lie.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Until it doesn't. Look at Ben Shapiro or Tucker Carlson as examples.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

𝘔𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘻𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵-𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳.

𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗼𝘁? https://techcrunch.com/2026/08/13/bartesian-duet-cocktail-maker-review/

Shocktreatment's avatar

I'll store it next to the electric carving knife and the specialty marshmallow toaster, at least until the next garage sale

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Hooper would burst into flames at the thought!

455 Rocket Cat, Space Donkey's avatar

Hooper is so resourceful, he would figure out a use for it.

Spleen Victoria's avatar

Probably use it to smash up ice to make it into those pebbles.💥

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗕𝗶𝗴 𝗣𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗮 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗹𝗶𝘁 𝗠𝗠𝗥 𝘃𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗲; 𝗕𝗶𝗴 𝗣𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰

It took just hours for the leading pharma group to reject the recommendations.

https://arstechnica.com/health/2026/08/trump-wants-big-pharma-to-split-mmr-vaccine-big-pharma-thinks-its-idiotic/

Bobathonic's avatar

Hooray for Big Pharma?

Shocktreatment's avatar

Oh holy shite... I never imagined the day when 𝘉𝘪𝘨 fucking 𝘱𝘏𝘈𝘙𝘔𝘢 holds the moral high ground...

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

This timeline makes for very weird bedfellows.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Along the lines of "why is this thing DEPENDENT on a WiFi connection ..." 𝗣𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗳𝗲𝗱

“I’ve lost trust …” https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2026/08/pet-owners-say-smart-pet-feeder-outage-led-to-furry-ones-going-unfed/

Jen Lacks a Domesticated Bone's avatar

Twitch

twitch twitch twitch

I lost trust.

Twitch

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Mine connect but they don't need to be connected to feed.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

That's the way it should be ... same for the water treatment plants. (see below)

Baconzgood's avatar

I would actually like to play a game with TACO. All my friends and sons love it/hate it.

It is called "The BAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Game"

The objective of the game is scare the shit out of the other person yelling "BAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" and frightening them when they dont expect it.

Hiding in closets is a good start. Then when they are leaving a public restroom is good too. At a Christmas dinner or jumping off a roof is more difficult.

Needless to say it makes haunted houses not as fun.

"JESUS STOP DOING THAT!!!!" is the victory in the game.

I would like to play that with Trump for a week.

Bobathonic's avatar

I like the variation where you're at an edge. Like a train platform or a cliff. You grab the other person suddenly and firmly, and yell, "WHOA! SAVED YOUR LIFE!"

Martin Shobe's avatar

All fun and games till the last thing you hear is, "Oh! I'm supposed to pull them away from the edge."

Baconzgood's avatar

*friend falling *

"I seriously meant to grab your collar. I thought it was a hoodie not a cardigan....oh well your dead. Bad choice of clothing for a friendly prank"