714 Comments
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Nancy Naive's avatar

Todd Blanche gave an excellent inaugural address for AG. The only thing missing was the Fraternal Societies from Faber College. GenY and Millennials, look it up.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Dear Alina, None of you are pretty and all of you are dumb.

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

Whether it’s Biden disproportionately approving infrastructure and manufacturing projects for Red states or Trump disproportionately denying disaster relief to blue states, both President had a disproportionate problem.

ciaobella's avatar

Reluctant props for the capacity to smile, and smile, and be a villain. I couldn’t pull that off.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I could never be Leavitt level evil. I just couldn’t; I’m convinced it’s one of the major differences between them and normal people.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!*

*after my buttcrack of dawn 3D superduper mammogram and ultrasound to figure out the mass in my breast. The tests themselves don't scare me, beyond the final bill. I'm sure it will be fine. Coolcoolcool. I am in no way drinking some wine and stress eating sea salt Poppables.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Hi Wonkets. Here is your evening Zelenskyy; culture and stuff, and if you click through, photos of that and a visit to a memorial. https://www.president.gov.ua/en/news/derzhava-bude-provoditi-tisyachovesnu-shoroku-i-shoroku-ce-b-105821

Craig Nixon's avatar

I think there's a goddam cricket in my apartment somewhere.

Can't find the sucker, either. This won't end well.

@freshfruitinspace's avatar

Stephen Cheung will never be press sec. My guess is NO press sec. No more press briefings. Just Trump from the oval with guest stars.

Snarfyguy's avatar

That guy has the charisma of an eel.

Oy!'s avatar

Guardian: "Pete Hegseth dismisses reports of deteriorating conditions on USS Abraham Lincoln"

Are the families and friends of the people on board listening? Are the rest of the service people under Pee's control?

"Hey, yeah – I checked the box for this shit!"

Jamoche's avatar

Make him spend a week on it, see what he says then. And not in officer land, either.

Menotsure's avatar

Not so much love it or leave it as Leavitt AND leave it

jaspersdad's avatar

And nothing of value was lost.

gallbladder's avatar

Sadly, though, there's still more to be.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Well, I think you good to go scheduling the Karoline Leavitt-Kim Jong Un Nekkid Mazola® Oil cage match with Marx and Lenin doing the color commentary. H. L. Mencken would have been a better choice for the commentary but you sent STEVE to deal with his agent, and, well, you know how THAT went. Depleted the bail fund with that one ...

gallbladder's avatar

oblivias would never give us the budget to produce that: Steve's too pricey a hire.

Karl and Frieda with a follow-up baking show on the other hand...

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

But where will you find the appropriate hovel set to film on?

nodak.   5150 47's avatar

See, I'd go with NK News Lady Vs Leavitt in a mud match in the octagon.

gallbladder's avatar

With Foucault reffing.

TerseNurse's avatar

US government extensively spied on anti-ICE protesters and leftwing groups, records reveal

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/13/us-government-spied-anti-ice-protesters?CMP=share_btn_url

This is my shocked face.

R. Riddle's avatar

This is my sue the fuck out of their asses face.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I've retired my shocked face. It finally gave out and is no longer under warranty.

Parakeetist's avatar

I'm going to spy on them

Baconzgood's avatar

OT.

I know few have people have seen it, and it only got 1 star. But "Screwed" was a funny film. See it if you haven't. Its so over the top. It is about Norm Mcdonald and Dave Chappelle kidnapping a pile of dog poo.

Random's avatar

Going to spam you all with some favorite songs of mine tonight. Why? Shits and giggles. Same reason I choose to be kind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQonz5TXtPo

"inner universe", written by Yoko Kanno, performed by Origa, featured as the intro theme for the anime GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I've recently gotten into Ghost in the Shell. It seems a lot of it is available on Netflix. I really like the story lines ...

TerseNurse's avatar

I've been feeling really crummy all day long. Slept poorly last night too. No real symptoms, just feeling blah, run over by a box truck full of cast-iron dildos. Not sure if I'm getting sick, burned out from constant (waves hands) all this, or what?

My son was sick last week, still has the snuffles, still a little run-down. My ex told me she was feeling totally wiped out yesterday, she feels fine today.

goCatgo's avatar

Save those cast-iron dildos for when Antiques Roadshow comes to town.

Make up a sexy provenance. When a nunnery burned down, when Widow Johnson died.

It's all in the provenance.

swmnguy's avatar

I discovered yesterday while working that COVID is on an upswing, as are some other highly contagious nasties.

If you're all well-vaxxed and boosted, this kinda sounds like COVID to me, possibly. And that's why we get vaxxed, kids.

TerseNurse's avatar

could be. I was in a covid house early last week. I wore an N95 the whole time, and good hand hygiene. but who knows. I am fully vaxxed and etc

swmnguy's avatar

Last couple times I had COVID it was exactly what you're describing from all your nears/dears, at various times. Truckfulla dildos; enduring sniffles; one bad day then gone; I've run the gamut.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

*hugs while wearing a hazmat suit. Love ya, can't get sick*

LoCoJo's avatar

My kid is going to see Lenny Kravitz next month (jealous!)and a bunch of her friends have asked her who Lenny Kravitz is. I told her she needed new friends.

Yutes Today!

Cincinnatus's avatar

Tell her friends he's Zoë Kravitz's dad.

goCatgo's avatar

Shit! I had grandkids tell me they don't get Star Wars cause when they fight they don't know who the good/bad guys are. I go What?! The Red light saber is always the bad guy.

The Blue is always the Jedi, the good guy! They look at me like I'm giving engine specs

of a '58 Chevy. In Latin.