Good morning good morning, okay so it’s less “BREAKING” than yestertoday’s morning tabs were, that was too much news! WHEW.
Oh did I say less breaking? Well that’s before I had to reopen this draft and add this gross Graham Platner thing, in which he attempts to be cool like Julian Assange (take off his condom without permission during sex, aka “sex by surprise”). I will say it’s the first time I ever agreed with Sarah Isgur though! (Gift link Washington Post)
Rebecca Solnit is pretty fucking disgusted with the Platner lovers rhapsodizing over him because he has a dick. (Meditations in an Emergency)
I think G. Elliott Morris’s new baby (mazel tov!) is keeping him from sleeping enough, because I think he thinks he explained the math here and yet I do not think he explained the math here. You are nerds, maybe you will understand it better! The math, explained or un-, on why Graham Platner was a bad candidate running behind the fundamentals in Maine. (G. Elliott Morris)
Is it bad that Trump did 327 stock trades the day before he “liberated” us with his tariffs? Is it all fine? (NBC News)
Which Wonkette writer didn’t write this hed? All Wonkette writers? You’re all fired. Different Corrupt Judicial Body Than Usual Grants Emergency Petition From Donald Trump. (Madiba Dennie at Balls and Strikes)
Trump’s disgusting gold and SO MANY JEWELS ring, gifted to him by Belgium before the Recent Unpleasantness. What the fuck are we all doing here, none of this shit is legal. (PBS)
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DHS and ICE just going around to people’s houses and threatening them for the crime of “criticized ICE and/or Todd Lyons,” which you will be shocked to learn is not actually a crime. Yet. (Gift link Washington Post) Oh and here’s one! A threat investigation over a post card to a Florida official that read “you lack values.” (Reason)
Three and a half years after the original injunction, the Eleventh Circuit bars Florida from enforcing DeSantis’s Stop WOKE Act, content-based speech prohibitions that are so facially unconstitutional, the evens, I can’t. Also, how did that take two goddamn years from the time of arguments? Come the fuck on, judges. We do not in fact have all the time in the world. (Ruling)
It’s a good thing the Roberts Court legalized bribing public officials, as well as being a public official accepting bribes, because donors are giving Florida AG James Uthmeier $25k a pop and then he is intervening in their civil suits! Wow! (Gift link Miami Herald)
This AirBnb cofounder is blaming immigrants for housing prices, which is rich, and also spouting a lot of white nationalist grossness, which is expected. Also he’s Trump’s new designer. (I did not know there was a national design chief. You also did not know there was a national design chief. We learn something every day.) The world is fun! (Don Moynihan)
Trump v. algae plus also Trump v. public information on how to deal with brutal heatwaves. (Public Notice)
What if Republicans and Tucker Carlson told the truth about what they want? It would sound a little something like this! (Bad Faith Times)
Even before Trump took away the congressionally funded America250 so he could throw the money at his friends instead, the congressionally funded America250 was some BANANAPANTS. Here’s their Jesus History comic books! (Talking Points Memo)
Mama loves a longshot. Settle in with this nice profile of Doug Jones, a good, decent fella who may even win this Alabama governor’s race without his opponent being a gross creep who kept trying to fuck all the teenage ladies at the mall! (Gift link The Atlantic)
Our beloved state Sen. Mallory McMorrow, whom we were supporting, has suspended her campaign for US Senate from Michigan. You know what that means? Time for Dapper Dr. Abdul!

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Oh my gosh, I forgot to show you our Metro Detroit Wonkmeet from last weekend (two weekends ago?)! It was organized by NOT EVEN ME, but rather by your comrades Kay Ducky and Up Here in the Clouds (she made mystery novel party go-bags :D ) and featured a rogues gallery of friends and SEVERAL old moms! YAY MOMS! AND FRIENDS! Behold.





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It’s an adorable blossom bat in the hed gif: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/blossom-bat
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Jeez, the comments on that WaPo article.
Learn to read, creeps. "She discovered that he had been taking off condoms in the middle of sex." "She estimated that Platner removed condoms without her consent at least six times when they had sex."
Meaning she caught him and then thought back on previous encounters and realized what he'd been doing. No the article does not say she kept screwing a guy who treated her like that.