63 Comments
User's avatar
Menotsure's avatar

If i had a "job" modeling underpants I would never risk such a primo career by smacking cops with my flagpole. That's just stupid.

tehbaddr's avatar

"a January 6-er underpants model"

Nope, didn't have that on my bingo card.

josephebacon's avatar

Oh and who else failed to make a comeback in Florida yesterday?

One Alan Grayson...

Chemical's avatar

>>But earlier this month, military veteran Amir Hassan lost the GOP primary in Michigan’s 8th

Worth noting here that Amir Hassan is Black. And although he's Christian, he converted to Christianity from Islam, hence his name.

So... yeah.

ArgieBargie's avatar

This insurance fraud and stolen valor dipshit is such a fuck up that he couldn't even cut it as a Florida Man.

"Ultra mega MAGA" indeed.

Trespassers Will's avatar

Dr. Annie Andrews is polling well in most matchups in South Carolina. Wouldn’t that be amazeballs?

Sko Hayes's avatar

Jared Moskowitz definitely does not suck.

Satanisreal's avatar

Silly Madison Cawthorn. He should move to Texas to run for governor.

Easterncedar's avatar

Under-bridge-troll and ex-Governor Paul Lepage left Maine for Florida to avoid taxes. Now he's back and running for the second district seat vacated by our unreliable Dem Jared Golden. The alligators failed us.

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Just your occasional reminder that Madison Cawthorn is in a wheelchair because he was in a relatively minor road accident but was a passenger and had his feet up on the dash. The accident triggered the dash airbag which deployed trashing his hips and lower back.

Instead of walking away he’ll never walk again. Please don’t do this.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Early days of the internet I saw a pic of the aftermath of a young woman passenger who'd done the same.

I still wince whenever I drive past someone with their feet up.

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Yep, DO NOT GOOGLE THIS.

ArgieBargie's avatar

No coke-fueled orgies for you, Mads.

Now go punch a tree, hump your cousin butt-naked, or just simply fuck off.

Tecolote's avatar

I wonder what he's been doing to pay the bills since being kicked out of Congress.

josephebacon's avatar

What else would he be doing?

Answer--Grifting!

Rosy red ASS's avatar

Right? Same thing he was doing when he was IN congress!

Jenny, a Pinata Farmer's avatar

What's with all those losers moving to Florida in hopes to NOT represent their constituents?

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

They figured, since DickSantisCo is counting the votes, they'd be a shoo-in.

MRK's avatar

They thought it was a state so captured by fascists they could get away with it.

Jenny, a Pinata Farmer's avatar

Even fascists hate carpet baggers.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Nice time indeed.

But I'll save the champagne for a certain obituary.

josephebacon's avatar

A bottle of Martinelli's Cider has been in my refrigerator since 2004. I bought it the day I was told my son was killed in Dumbya's illegal Iraq war...and it's waiting for Dumbya to do the dirt nap...

Rosy red ASS's avatar

Mine has been in the fridge for SO fucking long. I REALLY want to drink it soon.

Daniel's avatar

• Good bullet points, us!

[Phone rings]

"Hello?"

"GREAT BULLET POINTS SUGGEST NEW JOB OPPORTUNITY FOR EVAN HURST"

"Axios, is this you?"

"• Hurst's use of bullet points in an article imply strong synergy with a well known news-ish brand."

"Hi Axios."

"• Why it matters"

Shocktreatment's avatar

Vain, rested and ready! But people still remembered him...

Maddy might have a malpractice claim against whoever told him he could win.