Maggots Rain Down On Delta Passengers From Overhead Bin! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 16, 2024

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Whew, apparently the shooting at the Super Bowl parade Wednesday wasn’t because Taylor Swift is doing CIA psy-ops for Joe Biden. It was just people shooting 21 people in a crowd, killing a radio host and mom of two, because they were mad at someone who was presumably at most only one of the people killed and/or injured. (Gift link New York Times)

Two of the three people held in the Kansas City, Missouri, mass shooting are reportedly underage, which brings us to this Wonkette story from just about a year ago!

Missouri Republicans Vote In Favor Of Gun-Toting Children

From that story a year ago, state House Republicans killed a proposal that would have barred minors from openly carrying guns without adult supervision. You could still have taken them hunting or other shooty things! But Republicans decided it wasn’t fair to assume children walking around with AR-15s might actually use them.

“While it may be intuitive that a 14-year-old has no legitimate purpose, it doesn’t actually mean that they’re going to harm someone. We don’t know that yet,” Rep. Tony Lovasco, a Republican from the St. Louis suburb of O’Fallon told the Associated Press. “Generally speaking, we don’t charge people with crimes because we think they’re going to hurt someone.”

I guess we’ll move on. Like those fuckers absolutely will.

So this is what Marjorie Taylor Greene was talking about with that other rep’s “disgusting bathroom habits.” Most importantly, was she there? (The Independent)

Some actual House Republicans think they shouldn’t have thrown George Santos out of the House, because a Democrat retook his seat this week in a special election. They seem to think he would actually have won reelection? They … really think that? — Axios

Talking Points Memo liveblogged a hearing in which a Trump alleged election-stealing codefendant’s lawyers are trying to disqualify Fulton County, Georgia, DA Fani Willis from prosecuting Trump, because she was banging her deputy. It’s … a lot!

And of course: “If Willis were disqualified, a council that supports prosecuting attorneys in Georgia would find a new attorney to take over who could either proceed with the charges against Trump and 14 others or drop the case altogether.” I’m sure Georgia prosecutors would do a real good, honest job. (AP)

Marcy from Emptywheel going on in extraordinarily granular detail, as is her wont, about … something … but I do think this should be taken note of: That partisan hack Special Counsel Robert Hur wanted to charge only two sets of Joe Biden’s papers.

First, classified entries in “diaries” that Hur persistently called “notebooks” to obscure the fact that the Presidential Records Act affirmatively excludes diaries from the statute and, presumably, to provide himself license to read through them all.

(3) The term “personal records” means all documentary materials, or any reasonably segregable portion thereof, of a purely private or nonpublic character which do not relate to or have an effect upon the carrying out of the constitutional, statutory, or other official or ceremonial duties of the President. Such term includes–

(A) diaries, journals, or other personal notes serving as the functional equivalent of a diary or journal which are not prepared or utilized for, or circulated or communicated in the course of, transacting Government business;

What a crook. — Emptywheel

Yes yes, let’s all be sure to mark people’s blood if they have COVID vaccine cooties, like this Wyoming legislator wants to. Then maybe we can outlaw the vaccine all together, for public health! (Daily Mail via MSN)

First Focus wants to remind you that rich people get the full Child Tax Credit every time they have a new kid, but poor people don’t because that’s a “hand-out.” They think we should fix that!

I’m sorry to do this to you, but Bo Duke has another new “patriotic anthem” out, and it is stupid! “Freedom isn’t free”? We been through this, Duke Boy! It costs a buck oh five! And yet … it’s not not catchy!

LOL you hate me now :)

But do you hate me as much as Bo Duke hates Black people singing country music? Yikes, Bo Duke, you are not okay! Via Ron Filipkowski:

23 and Me is like a penny stock now, and the only thing it has left to offer is “selling your DNA.” No, but more than it was already probably. — Gizmodo

I won’t see you next week, well I guess I will do the Monday morning tabs, as I am going to be STAYCATIONING in Detroit (I already spent all our travel money) with the girls for their “late winter break” coinciding with my 51st birthday, so old! Please do everything in your power not to send me mad emails that need attending to while I’m gone!

Might maybe never flying again. (NBC Philadelphia)

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