As if any Trump attorney was ethical... Bill Barr misrepresented the Mueller report and flat out lied about its content. Then he violated Michael Cohens 1st Amendment rights by returning him to prison for writing a tell all book about Trump.. Those on the Trump team have no ethics nor does your orange jesus.
According to filings to SCOTUS so are laws, all of them, complete immunity from all the crimes (committed before, during and after) and probably would love to include the words of his good friend Alex Acosta in his illegal non prosecution agreement with Jeffrey Epstein. Also, hey GA, here is precedent on personal relationships on a case, nothing happened to either party so leave Fani in place!
Aw, thanks dear one. I don’t have time to do a deep dive write-up for every gif every day, but I do want to put the effort in for important cultural/artistic content. I’m glad you liked this one.
Erm, OHJB couldn't have violated the Presidential Records Act, whether or not the notebooks were notebooks or folders or spiral-bound composition books, BECAUSE HE WASN'T PRESIDENT WHEN HE TOOK THAT STUFF HOME!!!!!!
Gee, I feel better now. OHJB was either a Senator or VP when the alleged document hoarding took place. So, the Presidential Records Act didn't apply, no matter how the docs were sorted by category.
The stupid and the craven on the part of the 'Pubbies just takes mah breath away.
You know, if that idiotic Wyoming lawmaker wants to start labeling blood, I think he needs to start with "GRADE F STUPID BLOOD" on all covid-conspiracy-nutjob-donotions, for those of us who want to avoid getting stupider.
The House Republicans who think Georgie baby could have actually won reelection have a MUCH better fantasy life than I can possibly aspire to! I'd be jealous, but I have a feeling my fantasies look nothing like their fantasies...
"Rotten fish" on the way back from Amsterdam. Betcha that was maatjes, "soused" herring ripened in an oak barrel. A dearly beloved seasonal treat, if you were born to it. Difficult, otherwise.
I for-real have to remind myself that Fani Willis is the prosecutor and not the judge. And that this is all taking place in a country where Clarence Thomas doesn't have to recuse himself from a case where is wife clearly participated on behalf of the defendants.
Did not even try to open the falling maggots link. 56 years ago, my parents were running a TB hospital on the banks of the Kasai River in southern Congo (and I was 4). The house we had just moved into had a tin roof and a straw-thatched ceiling under that. At some point previously some animal had died in that thatch and become infested with maggots, but we didn't know it. My bed was directly under that spot, and our first night there, in the middle of the night, the thatch collapsed onto my bed. I woke up covered with maggots. Eventually the screaming ended and the maggots were removed and I was bathed and maybe given tranquilizers, but to this day my phobic response is ungovernable. I still have nightmares.
oh you poor sweet child. we had no where near as traumatic an incident a few years back (something died in our walls - likely squirrel - we had maggots in a corner of the bedroom and our front hall for a couple days - then they turned to fucking flies) and it still scarred me.
I think that legitimately qualifies as actual childhood trauma. I'm traumatized reading about it. p.s. I "liked" your post but didn't "like" it if you catch my drift. There's a limited emoji library on substack.
"Caitlin Clark breaks NCAA women's basketball all-time scoring record, sets single-game record as well"
And she did it in style on a super long 3 pointer. Go watch the video.
"The Iowa superstar broke the all-time scoring record on Thursday. She passed former record-holder Kelsey Plum, who poured in 3,527 career points over 139 games at Washington from 2013-17.
“The coolest thing is just the names I get to be around,” Clark, 22, said when she took over No. 2 on the list on Jan. 31. “Those are people that I grew up watching, especially Kelsey Plum, Brittney Griner, Kelsey Mitchell. Those are really, really great players.”
Clark, a 6-foot senior point guard, eclipsed the all-time mark against Michigan in her 126th game. She needed just eight points Thursday and hit the record-breaking shot early in the first quarter against the Wolverines.
Clark pulled up from well beyond the 3-point line, drilling a deep shot from the left side to topple the historic mark. It was her third bucket and eighth point of the day as she pulled up in a manner befitting the moment and her persona, dropping it from well beyond logo distance."
OMFG! Is Schneider really bitching about Beyoncé doing country music? How much music have white people appropriated from Black music? Blues, rap the list is endless. Just fucking gobsmacked by his racism and musical cluelessness.
Please reference a group of black musicians known as the 'Carolina Chocolate Drops' to understand the roots of white people appropriating even country music.
I absolutely adore Rhiannon Giddens. She’s a legit vocalist with extensive training and has the chops to prove it. Also let’s not forget that the banjo is based on an instrument from Africa. To say that they weren’t instrumental in Bluegrass is also wrong.
I have some bad news for people who only want blood donations from unvaccinated donors: The Venn diagram of people who donate blood AND who don't get any vaccines has a very, very, very narrow overlap. If you are in a wreck and you need 10 pints of blood, there might not even be 10 pints of blood in your blood type from unvaccinated donors in your entire state, let alone the hospital that you're in.
The Red Cross DOES ask if you have ever had a COVID vaccine, though. So they track that information internally.
I'm really pissed at 23 and Me, because I only did the testing because "adopted" and because of a story someone connected to the company at the beginning told me that convinced me to do it. It's enough that we've pretty much collectively given away our privacy - heck, even a certain right-wing jihadist seems to be tracking my non-comments here - but 23 and Me went on and on during sign-up about how secure one's genetic data would be.
And now look at this mess; I'm going to meet my clone one day, and they'll probably be Russian!
I am excited about your birthday! I know you were joshing about the "so old" part but I have a birthday present to you - sorry not any extra money but then again maybe! What I have for you is better than money. It's the secret to eternal youth! Well...maybe not eternal but youth as long as you are here on Planet Earth. Here's the secret:
You're going to be 51. Look back at your 46th birthday. Forty-six might not have seemed young then, but I bet it does now! Which means that in five years from now, you're gonna think, "Yanno (you'd say yanno, wouldn't you?), 51 was a lot younger than I thought it was!" So - extrapolate that to right now and realize, "Yanno, I *am* a lot younger than I think I am!"
Viola! You will never feel old again. I just turned 65 and I can tell you emphatically this attitude trick works like a charm. Happy Birthday!
Yes, I realize I am not a fucking poet. Also, I am probably going to be boring AF and just have half a bottle of a sparkling rosé because ain't nobody in this house got time for hangovers these days.
There are nearly 900 non-comments on TABS this morning. If I attempt a riff about those maggots on that plane using that Samuel Jackson thing, just how far back in line will I be?
It’s art appreciation time with some sexxy sexxy symbolism from your hed gif source. Read more about Ruben’s “Honeysuckle Bower” here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/the-honeysuckle-bower
Oh Ms. Martinni Glambassador!
You hit a home run today!
Thanks darlin!
I have a Rubens painting I've been wanting to post for about 15 months, ever since I saw it in the, uh, flesh, but I've hesitated, because.
Depending upon what Hooper puts in his cocktail this afternoon and what I put in mine, today might be a good time to post.
I love your art posts :)
Thanks so much! I think ending with a Rubens on a day that started with a Rubens might be good parentheses to start the long weekend.
So, it would be sort of a Rubens...sandwich!
See myself out, I will.
--------------------->
It's no "Girl In A Swing", but it's pretty hot.
I love this! It has a Terry Gillian feel to it.
The gift of Tabs is ALWAYS appropriate.
Rubens' exposed calf is pretty racy, there. Don't ley My Johnson see it.
"Darling, would you care to accompany me to the bower, whence to suckle the sweetest of vines?"
"Yeah, sure, let's get it over with. BrIng some gum."
Oh, you're such a romantic, Me! 😁
Quite a complement coming from the Muse of Comedy.
You better believe it!
Fuck this, fuck THAT, fuck this thing in particular, fuck... OK, this stays.
I thought the sweets were canned clams!
Thank you for the background information, Martini!
As if any Trump attorney was ethical... Bill Barr misrepresented the Mueller report and flat out lied about its content. Then he violated Michael Cohens 1st Amendment rights by returning him to prison for writing a tell all book about Trump.. Those on the Trump team have no ethics nor does your orange jesus.
If an attorney is ethical, he works elsewhere... Because ethics is for losers and little people!
According to filings to SCOTUS so are laws, all of them, complete immunity from all the crimes (committed before, during and after) and probably would love to include the words of his good friend Alex Acosta in his illegal non prosecution agreement with Jeffrey Epstein. Also, hey GA, here is precedent on personal relationships on a case, nothing happened to either party so leave Fani in place!
https://abcnews.go.com/US/key-takeaways-justice-department-review-jeffrey-epstein-sweetheart/story?id=74222922
If anything the hired gun should go. Not Fani.
Tell 'em!
Very well done , Martini!
Terry Gilliam would be so proud :-)
Nicely done! :-D
Gilliam is too busy endangering his actors and railing against the dying of the crude.
Such a wanton hussy!
A brazen trollop!
Ruby Lipped Mattress-Thrasher.
Shes great!
A frenzied Flemish Floozy of frankly Frankish physicality.
DING DING DING I officially award you one internet.
You went OFF today. That was a fantastic read.
Aw, thanks dear one. I don’t have time to do a deep dive write-up for every gif every day, but I do want to put the effort in for important cultural/artistic content. I’m glad you liked this one.
Reminds me of Terry Gilliam's animations from Monty Python.
Erm, OHJB couldn't have violated the Presidential Records Act, whether or not the notebooks were notebooks or folders or spiral-bound composition books, BECAUSE HE WASN'T PRESIDENT WHEN HE TOOK THAT STUFF HOME!!!!!!
Gee, I feel better now. OHJB was either a Senator or VP when the alleged document hoarding took place. So, the Presidential Records Act didn't apply, no matter how the docs were sorted by category.
The stupid and the craven on the part of the 'Pubbies just takes mah breath away.
You know, if that idiotic Wyoming lawmaker wants to start labeling blood, I think he needs to start with "GRADE F STUPID BLOOD" on all covid-conspiracy-nutjob-donotions, for those of us who want to avoid getting stupider.
The House Republicans who think Georgie baby could have actually won reelection have a MUCH better fantasy life than I can possibly aspire to! I'd be jealous, but I have a feeling my fantasies look nothing like their fantasies...
"Rotten fish" on the way back from Amsterdam. Betcha that was maatjes, "soused" herring ripened in an oak barrel. A dearly beloved seasonal treat, if you were born to it. Difficult, otherwise.
No Ms. Editrix, I do not hate you for plopping C&W crap down my computer. Shit happens, amirite?
But please allow me to cleanse the screen with a little bit of Sonic Youth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWzIlCJAw-o
I for-real have to remind myself that Fani Willis is the prosecutor and not the judge. And that this is all taking place in a country where Clarence Thomas doesn't have to recuse himself from a case where is wife clearly participated on behalf of the defendants.
Did not even try to open the falling maggots link. 56 years ago, my parents were running a TB hospital on the banks of the Kasai River in southern Congo (and I was 4). The house we had just moved into had a tin roof and a straw-thatched ceiling under that. At some point previously some animal had died in that thatch and become infested with maggots, but we didn't know it. My bed was directly under that spot, and our first night there, in the middle of the night, the thatch collapsed onto my bed. I woke up covered with maggots. Eventually the screaming ended and the maggots were removed and I was bathed and maybe given tranquilizers, but to this day my phobic response is ungovernable. I still have nightmares.
oh you poor sweet child. we had no where near as traumatic an incident a few years back (something died in our walls - likely squirrel - we had maggots in a corner of the bedroom and our front hall for a couple days - then they turned to fucking flies) and it still scarred me.
I think that legitimately qualifies as actual childhood trauma. I'm traumatized reading about it. p.s. I "liked" your post but didn't "like" it if you catch my drift. There's a limited emoji library on substack.
I don't imagine that anyone "likes" the idea of maggots falling. I rarely tell the story. :)
!!!!!
A nice thing!
"Caitlin Clark breaks NCAA women's basketball all-time scoring record, sets single-game record as well"
And she did it in style on a super long 3 pointer. Go watch the video.
"The Iowa superstar broke the all-time scoring record on Thursday. She passed former record-holder Kelsey Plum, who poured in 3,527 career points over 139 games at Washington from 2013-17.
“The coolest thing is just the names I get to be around,” Clark, 22, said when she took over No. 2 on the list on Jan. 31. “Those are people that I grew up watching, especially Kelsey Plum, Brittney Griner, Kelsey Mitchell. Those are really, really great players.”
Clark, a 6-foot senior point guard, eclipsed the all-time mark against Michigan in her 126th game. She needed just eight points Thursday and hit the record-breaking shot early in the first quarter against the Wolverines.
Clark pulled up from well beyond the 3-point line, drilling a deep shot from the left side to topple the historic mark. It was her third bucket and eighth point of the day as she pulled up in a manner befitting the moment and her persona, dropping it from well beyond logo distance."
https://sports.yahoo.com/caitlin-clark-breaks-ncaa-womens-basketball-all-time-scoring-record-sets-single-game-record-010800000.html
OMFG! Is Schneider really bitching about Beyoncé doing country music? How much music have white people appropriated from Black music? Blues, rap the list is endless. Just fucking gobsmacked by his racism and musical cluelessness.
The Pointer Sisters did it 50 years ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQWgKvvbT1g
Please reference a group of black musicians known as the 'Carolina Chocolate Drops' to understand the roots of white people appropriating even country music.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Carolina_Chocolate_Drops
I absolutely adore Rhiannon Giddens. She’s a legit vocalist with extensive training and has the chops to prove it. Also let’s not forget that the banjo is based on an instrument from Africa. To say that they weren’t instrumental in Bluegrass is also wrong.
They should call it 'Black n Blue Grass"
I don't know Deb. I think that needs a little more thought. Although clever, has too much "beat down a Black person" quality to it.
He was taking the rotting fish…to Detroit.
I mean, couldn’t it have been Dallas?
And what, he forgot?
I once forgot about a frozen pizza and left it in the insulated bag for a week. We found it when we went to go grocery shopping the next week. Ew.
I cannot believe that no one could not smell it until they opened up the bag. I would have smelled that a mile away.
Being allergic to fish, I'm hypersensitive to that smell. Even fresh fish alerts my spidey senses.
I have some bad news for people who only want blood donations from unvaccinated donors: The Venn diagram of people who donate blood AND who don't get any vaccines has a very, very, very narrow overlap. If you are in a wreck and you need 10 pints of blood, there might not even be 10 pints of blood in your blood type from unvaccinated donors in your entire state, let alone the hospital that you're in.
The Red Cross DOES ask if you have ever had a COVID vaccine, though. So they track that information internally.
I'm really pissed at 23 and Me, because I only did the testing because "adopted" and because of a story someone connected to the company at the beginning told me that convinced me to do it. It's enough that we've pretty much collectively given away our privacy - heck, even a certain right-wing jihadist seems to be tracking my non-comments here - but 23 and Me went on and on during sign-up about how secure one's genetic data would be.
And now look at this mess; I'm going to meet my clone one day, and they'll probably be Russian!
And I STILL haven't found my biological family.
Me neither. Also found out I'm not Irish, which was disappointing
I did not sign the agreement to share my DNA information so if they did they clearly violated my privacy.
Dearest Rebecca:
I am excited about your birthday! I know you were joshing about the "so old" part but I have a birthday present to you - sorry not any extra money but then again maybe! What I have for you is better than money. It's the secret to eternal youth! Well...maybe not eternal but youth as long as you are here on Planet Earth. Here's the secret:
You're going to be 51. Look back at your 46th birthday. Forty-six might not have seemed young then, but I bet it does now! Which means that in five years from now, you're gonna think, "Yanno (you'd say yanno, wouldn't you?), 51 was a lot younger than I thought it was!" So - extrapolate that to right now and realize, "Yanno, I *am* a lot younger than I think I am!"
Viola! You will never feel old again. I just turned 65 and I can tell you emphatically this attitude trick works like a charm. Happy Birthday!
It's feeling like a Friday
And I'm gonna do some drinkin'
Cuz I love to drink on Frday
Spend the weekend low and stinkin' . . .
Yes, I realize I am not a fucking poet. Also, I am probably going to be boring AF and just have half a bottle of a sparkling rosé because ain't nobody in this house got time for hangovers these days.
There are nearly 900 non-comments on TABS this morning. If I attempt a riff about those maggots on that plane using that Samuel Jackson thing, just how far back in line will I be?
The longer you wait the further back you will be. And do you really want to be at the back when the hard maggot rain starts to fall?