New Hampshire House Majority Leader Will Keep Resigning Until He Gets It Right

MaineNew Hampshire House Majority Leader D.J. Bettencourt is super sorry he is such a lying shitweasel, and also so very lazy and slothful and piggish (all three). And inMaineNew Hampshire, apparently, making up 11 weeks worth of detailed entries for the law internship you only actually spent one hour on is enough to get you dragged screaming from your lofty perch in theMaineNew Hampshire leadership! At least when the law internship is with J. Brandon Giuda, a fellow Republican who, weirdly, does not resemble the crusty old coot we imagined when picturing the kind ofMainerNew Hampshirite who would force a fellow GOPpy to resign from the House over pathologically lying his way through a little paperwork. Anyway, Giuda saw a Facebook picture of Bettencourt graduating from law school, and he had himself a righteous holy snit. FACEBOOOOOK!!!! He demanded Bettencourt resign from the House for "personal reasons," and then fink on himself to the law school; instead of placing blame on himself and his "personal problems," though, Bettencourt blamed the resignation on his upcoming wedding. Giuda was not nearly satisfied with such a weaselly resignation, one that sought to hide how "dishonorable" he was, and made Bettencourt resign again .

Bettencourt first said he would resign Friday under pressure from Giuda and House Speaker William O’Brien, R-Mont Vernon. The understanding the three men had was that Bettencourt would leave his post, acknowledging personal problems. He was then to report his misrepresentation to UNH School of Law officials.

Instead, Bettencourt cited his upcoming nuptials and a new job as the reason for his plan to resign June 6.

Giuda then threatened to release the full reports if Bettencourt did not leave the House immediately.

Giuda said he had one client willing to waive confidentiality to verify Bettencourt never met with them, despite the claim on the internship report. Bettencourt even lists meeting with clients at a location that no longer exists, and includes court dates that were never scheduled, Giuda said.

“Some people have a personality defect; when they say something, they believe it to be true,” Giuda said. “He actually seems to believe the lies.”

So yeah, DJ Bettencourt had to resign from theMaineNew Hampshire House twice in three days. Happy Memorial Day,MainersNew Hampshire! Please keep bringing us such lovely stories from your granite (?) shores (?).

UPDATE!You will note that your editrix got a reasonably important part of this story completely and totally wrong. She blames her upcoming wedding.

[ BangorDailyNews via Wonkette operative "Rachel"]