Mar-a-Lago Mildred Couldn't Possibly Start Trump's Classified Docs Trial Now, Reschedules It For Hopefully Never?
Aileen Cannon is out of her league and drowning in her own bullsh*t.
Judge Aileen Cannon, the unofficial member of Donald Trump’s legal team who sits on the district court in South Florida with her gavel and does exactly what Trump appointed her to do, has postponed his classified documents trial indefinitely. It was supposed to start in just a couple weeks, on May 20. But alas, there are all these pretrial motions and questions to be resolved — most of them originated by Cannon — and they therefore couldn’t possibly get started any time soon.
When is the new trial date? Ha ha, Aileen Cannon will get back to you on that one when she’s good and ready, or never.
Probably best to wait until after the election, at which point (Cannon obviously hopes) Trump will be president again and she doesn’t have to pretend to be a real judge anymore and maybe he will appoint her to something else fun, like Supreme Court Justice Of Doing Whatever Donald Trump Says.
Can Jack Smith indict this partisan hack judge for obstruction of justice? We are just asking a fantastical, unserious layman’s question. You know, because we are literally dealing here with a case about a former president indicted for willfully stealing and retaining America’s closely guarded secrets, and we don’t really know yet exactly why. Perhaps so he could sell/trade them to America’s enemies AKA his friends, in exchange for Doing Him A Favor, Though?
With Trump, it’s best to assume the worst, most treasonous possibility and work backward from there.
In Mar-a-Lago Mildred’s latest ruling, she writes that on top of the pretrial motions she hasn’t ruled on yet — like motions to dismiss the case because Trump’s bitch ass is screaming that Special Counsel Jack Smith was unlawfully appointed — there are all these confusing questions to be resolved about the Classified Information Procedures Act (CIPA), and as we’ve all seen, Mar-a-Lago Mildred gets confused extremely easily, because she’s not really qualified for the job she holds.
Or at least she understands she’s supposed to pretend she’s dumb, while running out the clock for su jefe.
THIS ONE.
Cannon writes:
“The Court […] determines that finalization of a trial date at this juncture—before resolution of the myriad and interconnected pre-trial and CIPA issues remaining and forthcoming—would be imprudent and inconsistent with the Court’s duty to fully and fairly consider the various pending pre-trial motions before the Court, critical CIPA issues, and additional pretrial and trial preparations necessary to present this case to a jury,” Cannon wrote.
She knows her role, and it isn’t the oath she swore to uphold.
AlterNet collected some reactions from your favorite analysts on Legal Twitter. Here are a couple:
“This is news but it’s hardly unexpected,” declared professor of law, former U.S. Attorney, and MSNBC contributor Joyce Vance wrote. “Judge Cannon seems desperate to avoid trying this case. This isn’t justice. defendants aren’t the only ones with speedy trial act rights, we the people have them too.” […]
Foreign policy, national security, and political affairs analyst David Rothkopf added, “Justice delayed is justice denied. Both the defendant and the public have the right to a trial ‘without unnecessary delay.’ (Sixth Amendment.) When does Jack Smith seek a remedy for the problem Judge Cannon clearly represents? Tick freaking tock.”
And this, from Asha Rangappa, really captures what a completely out-of-her-league dipshit Aileen Cannon is:
“I think that Judge Cannon is intellectually out of her league and is having some weird analysis paralysis because her personal partisanship makes her place Trump’s bizarre arguments (like that nuclear secrets are his personal records) on par with Smith’s *actual* legal arguments. She’s afraid of making any mistake, lest Smith have a basis to appeal and perhaps get her removed, and so in this lost, ineffective, and paranoid state, the best she can hope for is that Trump gets elected and the case just goes away. So that’s her play.”
“Analysis paralysis.” That’s lovely.
Far be it from Wonkette to tell Jack Smith how to do his job — he doesn’t come to our work and slap the dick jokes out of our mouth — but at this point, with Trump’s illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court set to give him a sloppy rimjob in the election-stealing case and Cannon doing whatever the hell she’s doing here, we’d be thinking about activating any “break glass in case of emergency” scenarios we might have right about now.
Unless he doesn’t have any, in which case fuck.
Oh wait, what’s this? This just in:
FUCK.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
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Anyone that thinks she is “in over her head” and that’s why she’s making these decisions is a blind fool.
I would bet everything I have that all her decisions have been written by a Leonard Leo funded group of Federalist society lawyers. She didn’t write ANY of that order. I bet they had to explain to her what it even said.
𝘚𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘚𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥...
As I've said here before, I think what she's really afraid of is that once the trial actually gets under way, Trump is toast. She knows this damn well and is terrified of having to sentence him.