Marco Rubio A Climatologist And An Obstetrician Now, Will Tell You When Babby Is Formed

Human-shaped fecal matter Marco Rubio has been taking some heat the last couple of days over his weekend comments regarding climate change and how it’ll take a lot more than 99% of climate scientists saying it is happening to convince him that it is actually happening, and even if it is happening, we don't know how much of it is attributable to human activity so why bother doing anything to possibly mitigate the effects? Since all the media outlets criticizing Rubio are liberal water carriers for Big Climate, grunting homunculus Sean Hannity interviewed the senator on the radio on Wednesday afternoon and gave him a chance to respond. It went well, if your definition of “well” includes “caused yr Wonkette to hit ourselves in the face with a Louisville Slugger until we passed out.”

Rubio’s argument? Liberals are enormous hypocrites for claiming the science of climate change is settled while simultaneously denying that science has also settled that life begins at conception, because that undermines the case for abortion.

Our response? GLARGHASLJXNIDFJDIJEW!!!!11!!!!!!

Because you are all good abortion-loving liberals, it is probably unnecessary for us to even explain why Rubio is wrong, that saying life begins at conception is one of those misleading arguments the anti-abortion crowd likes to make, that whether conception means the moment an egg is fertilized or when it implants into the uterine wall is a point that some scientists do in fact argue over, and furthermore that it does not distinguish between the biological process of a bunch of cells beginning to divide and when those cells form a viable person. And also that the “life begins at conception" argument in no way addresses the issue of whether women should have agency over their own bodies and reproductive choices. Which they should.

No, you do not need us to point out any of that.

It’s fun to listen to the interview anyway (starting around the 10: 00 mark), to hear Rubio stumble into his amazing “A-ha, gotcha!” insight as if it was a bottle of spring water that had heretofore sat on a stool tantalizingly out of reach, and then to work himself into a self-righteous froth of indignation about liberals who wag their finger in his face when telling him he's an idiot. He sounds like Einstein probably sounded when he wrote out E=mc2, assuming Einstein was also an asshole.

Remember when Marco Rubio was the great Republican hope, a super-smart and impressive minority in a mostly white party who had crossover appeal with moderates? Good times.

[ HuffPo / RHRealityCheck ]