Marco Rubio Says Dumb Words About Iran, Is Dumb And Stupid. Huh!

Florida Senator Marco “Polo” Rubio, your next president in his own head, is a self-styled Deep Thinker and Very Serious Person™, and as such, he has Concerns with the deal “President” Obama is negotiating with Iran. ( Of course Rubio, a vacuous cypher, was one of the 47traitorsRepublican senators who sent that har-har-just-kidding letter telling Iran that the fake president’s negotiations don’t really count, and of course   he tried to raise money off of it .)

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Like, for instance -- and he’s just thinking out loud here -- is America letting ISIS win to make Iran happy, because Iran loves ISIS so much ?

He asked this question, in public (!), to Secretary of State John Kerry, and Ol’ Horseface was not amused.

During a tense exchange with Kerry at a Senate Foreign Relations committee on Wednesday, Rubio confronted the former Massachusetts senator. “I believe that much of our strategy with regards to ISIS is being driven by a desire not to upset Iran so they don’t walk away from the negotiating table on the deal that you’re working on,” the potential GOP presidential candidate declared. “Tell me why I’m wrong.”

Well, Senator, let’s start with the fact that ISIS is Iran’s mortal enemy and you are A Idiot.

Kerry responded forcefully. “Because the facts completely contradict that,” he said. … “They would welcome our bombing of ISIS, actually, they want us to destroy ISIS, ISIS is a threat to them, it’s a threat to the region and I think you’re misreading it if you think there is a mutual interest with respect to Daesh [the Arabic name for ISIS] from every country in the region.”

Even after John Kerry spoke Arabic at him -- suspicious, no? -- Rubio was not about to back down, because the wingnuts in Iowa would not appreciate him jettisoning a dumb conspiracy theory after just one pass. This is the state of American politics, and we need a drink.

Kerry added that the nuclear talks have not impacted America’s strategy in Iraq and Syria. “There is no grand bargain being discussed here in the context of this negotiation. This is about a nuclear weapon potential, that’s it.” Rubio floated his theory again, this time suggesting that America’s coalition in its fight against ISIS also believes that the nuclear talks are undermining the goal of defeating terrorists.

And Kerry once again gave Rubio ye olde bitchslap: “Senator, that actually is flat wrong also, flat wrong.”

See, as the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff had already explained to the Junior Senator from Florida and his colleagues, Iran very much wants to bomb the fuck out of ISIS, because ISIS would like nothing more than to run out Iraq’s Shiite government, which Iran wholeheartedly supports. Also, too, ISIS sees Shiites as apostates, and would probably kill them all if given the chance, because those guys are dicks.

Today, the Iranian regime is moving to exert influence beyond its Iraqi proxies, and is comfortable taking overt military action. There is no one to restrain Tehran, and the rise of ISIS, which views Shiites as apostates, threatens the interests of all Iraqi Shiite factions and of the Iranian regime.

In late November, Iranian warplanes launched several airstrikes against targets in eastern Iraq, pushing back ISIS militants who had neared a self-declared "buffer zone" that Iran established along the border.

But sure, we’re not bombing ISIS (we are) because Iran wants ISIS to defeat them, or something. That’s some fucking foreign policy smarts right there.

[ Think Progress ]