Massachusetts Senate Primary: You Literally Can’t Go Wrong Here

Ed Markey and Joe Kennedy are both solid choices.

 [This column is SER's opinion only; it does not reflect the opinion of Wonkette or its publisher and editrix, who thinks Joe Kennedy is a spoiled jerk and primarying a really good progressive is a crap move of crapness.] 

Massachusetts Rep. Joe Kennedy would like to be a senator. It's somewhat of a family tradition. His great-uncles Jack and Teddy were senators from Massachusetts. His grandfather, Robert, was senator from New York, but no one's perfect. Unfortunately, no Republicans hold Senate seats from his state, so he has to primary an incumbent Democrat. That's a little ho-hum because the balance of power, the fate of the nation, doesn't mesh with his ambitions. He should've moved to Kentucky.

Kennedy has struggled with a rationale for challenging incumbent Senator Ed Markey. There's no clear ideological distinction, like when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez famously upset Joe Crowley. Markey is currently ranked as the most progressive member of the Senate, above even Bernie Sanders from Vermont and Elizabeth Warren, also from Massachusetts. Markey is 74, so Kennedy, who turns 40 in October, could appeal to the tastes of a new generation, but Ocasio-Cortez herself has endorsed Markey.