As Tosca says, where's the purified salt? Little does Schmappy know, these are illegal Asian demon spirits in his offices and he should have gotten a Shinto priest to do a purification ritual. He'd better get his head out of his ass and get to it, or next thing you know, we'll have hopping vampires and shit running around there.
"Just a warning to the bad guys: Angels do carry swords . . . "
I would think by now, the god these "religious" assholes worship would have armed his angels with something a lot more deadly then swords. I mean, surely Rethug heaven has AR-15's.
Sounds like he was trying to build his own “team” if by team he meant pe
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Nice "every Mexican is a fentanyl smuggler" dog whistle there, "Mercedes"
So nothing is their responsibility, just blame it on spirits and demons.
Oh, of course there are no microorganisms or viruses causing disease either so just pray for healing.
WTF is wrong with these people? And they think they are the chosen ones?
Simply yanking on it and yelling “Oh God!” does not an exorcism make, Schlappy.
As Tosca says, where's the purified salt? Little does Schmappy know, these are illegal Asian demon spirits in his offices and he should have gotten a Shinto priest to do a purification ritual. He'd better get his head out of his ass and get to it, or next thing you know, we'll have hopping vampires and shit running around there.
Hopping vampire (Jiangshi): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiangshi
Mr. Vampire trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JojYPtVqfXY
Medals? I mean, the holy water is good, but any Supernatural fan knows it's SALT for demons. Schlapp should ask for his money back.
“ Again, this was spring of 2022, before the allegations came out about Schlappy Squirrel, ”
Slappy Squirrel libelz!
https://youtu.be/Mdqv5xIsFLM?si=5T9HM4u3baD3qBdV
He has the most onomatopoeiac name ever. I can't spell that, but I hope you know what I mean.
Hmmm.
Schlapp!
Yep, checks out.
Wait. Did Matt just publicly admit that global warming's real?
More Schlapp smiting! Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord and The Daily Beast!
Dear CPAChouse:
I always thought this would happen to me....
There's an elephant in the room here and that is the word "swords". Me thinks.
Yeah, that schlapps.
"Or your money back!"
I so want to hear one of those end of commercial legal blurbs that states the exemptions at 3X speed...in the voice of the devil.
That. Would. Be. Cool.
The Schlapps probably really hated Marshawn Lynch, especially when he went into Beast Mode.
will there be junk pummeling?
If we lived in a just universe, Schlatan would be preparing to Schlap Matt’s junk in Hell as we speak. Perverse Pummeling!
"Just a warning to the bad guys: Angels do carry swords . . . "
I would think by now, the god these "religious" assholes worship would have armed his angels with something a lot more deadly then swords. I mean, surely Rethug heaven has AR-15's.
Simply calling it a sword doesn’t make that little thing into a sword no matter that it elongates when you pull it out, Schlappy.