Fellas, Do Ice Skates Make You Gay?

Matt Walsh also has thoughts about Nazis, again.

What is the Daily Wire's Matt Walsh shitting his pants about right now? Well, let him tell you!

It really seems right now that at the heart of every right-wing conservative dude rant these days is a shrieking complaint that literally everything in life is threatening to their masculine insecurities, and so therefore we have Matt Walsh here, explaining that "you can never fully be manly on ice skates."

What? Why? And really? That guy   is telling us when and how we can be manly on ice skates? Sorry, every professional hockey player dude in the US and Canada might get mad about that, assuming they didn't fall over laughing at this hairy little freak right here. Mr. Brawny guy, except for without the broad shoulders:

“Matt Walsh: "You can never be fully manly on ice skates"”

— Jason S. Campbell (@Jason S. Campbell) 1683571613 

Walsh says the NFL and the NHL are "both certainly less manly than they were 10 years ago." (Because they are "woke," and because LGBTQ+ stuff makes Matt Walsh feel very insecure.)

Walsh says the NHL is even more woke than the NFL, because it does pride nights, "where they gotta wear the rainbow uniforms."

And as to the sports themselves?

"Hockey, you've got, first of all, fighting after the plays, I mean, that's cool, the fact that you can just beat the hell out of each other for reasons, nothing to do with what's actually happening ..."

Friends, is that how the rules of hockey work? Is it you get one free fight for no reason after every play?

"I don't know exactly, I've never watched hockey, but I guess two guys get mad at each other, you just beat the hell out of each other, it's understood that that's what you're gonna do."

He's never watched.

But he thinks that's pretty cool. Manly guys who spend their lives mad at transgender kids are into stuff like that. You know, guy stuff!

But he has to deduct manly points from hockey, he says.

"I gotta deduct points based on the fact that you ARE on ice skates, which is a little bit ... "

Walsh does a thing with his wrist. Fellas, are ice skates gay?

"That's what figure skaters use."

They do use skates.

"It's a little bit, sorta, dainty, you know, you're ice skating around. You can never be fully manly on ice skates."

 Giphy 

Anyway, this is definitely what regular guys are sitting around talking about at bars, while they constantly cover their beer cans to make sure no transgender people put any Bud Light in there while they're in the bathroom.

If you're learning how to be manly from Matt Walsh, you're totally on the right track.

Also he's not sure about rollerblading, and says the "manlier" thing is just to stand on your feet.

And now for the Nazis

 Matt's Twitter feed right now is full of the kind of self-satisfied scoffing that can only come from an utter lack of education and street smarts, regarding the idea of a mass shooter with a Hispanic name somehow being a Nazi. In one, he refers to the shooter as an "alleged Mexican neo-Nazi."

In this one, he's so mad that we know so much about this guy's "alleged motivations a day later" — the Nazi tattoos were kind of a tipoff, we think — but we STILL don't have the imaginary "manifesto" from the transgender mass shooter that conservative fascist white guys like Matt have been jerking off to in anticipation for a solid month. (There is no manifesto.)

“Absolutely nothing suspicious about the fact that we know all about this guy’s alleged motivations a day later and yet more than a month after the trans terrorist killing in Nashville we still haven’t been told a single thing about her motives”

— Matt Walsh (@Matt Walsh) 1683585300 

Then there's this Walsh retweet of a guy named Greg Price, which says, "You're telling [ sic ] a Mexican guy just happened to have Nazi tattoos and by total coincidence posted about Nazis, along with prominent conservatives, on a Russian social media account with zero followers and this discovery was made by a guy who works for an org bankrolled by the CIA?"

You betcha.

Ice skates are gay and guys with Hispanic names can't be white supremacist Nazis.

Keep talking, dude. You're totally normal.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

I would like a BlueSky invite.

I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post! 

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