Matt Walsh So Scared Wayne Brady's Gonna F**K Him

This is not an emotionally healthy person.

Aug 09, 2023

Comedian, actor, singer Wayne Brady shared some news with People magazine this week. After some personal reflection and consideration, Brady is ready to identify as “pansexual” or as he calls it “bisexual with an open mind.”

“In doing my research, both with myself and just with the world, I couldn’t say if I was bisexual, because I had to really see what that was, especially because I really have not gotten a chance to act on anything,” Brady told People. “So, I came to pansexual because — and I know that I’m completely messing up the dictionary meaning — but to me, pan means being able to be attracted to anyone who identifies as gay, straight, bi, transsexual or non-binary. Being able to be attracted across the board.”

I’m glad Wayne Brady is in a place where he can be open and public. His ex-wife Mandie Taketa and their 20-year-old daughter Maile have been fully supportive. You should read the full People interview, where he discusses how Robin Williams’s death in 2014 caused him to confront his own mental health. He didn’t have suicidal thoughts but he found that he often lacked a sense of personal joy.

“I have joy because I love my daughter and I love my family,” he said. “I love being a dad more than chocolate ice cream. But that can't be my only joy. I have to love myself. And that's when I realized that I had a problem because if I can spend everything on stage and on camera but then I come home and there is a love deficit, what is going on? That was my rock bottom.”

Brady didn’t remain at rock bottom, which is the major difference between him and, say, Matt Walsh, who is a permanent resident.

The right-wing ass boil somehow learned about Brady’s sexual identity and it’s freaking him out! Here’s video of his rant, courtesy of Jason S. Campbell at Media Matters.

“Pick a side!” Walsh said. “Pick a team. Stop being indecisive. That’s what pansexual really is. Aside from made-up, it’s a lack of commitment.”

Uh, no, it’s not.

If you’re genuinely curious about what “pansexual” means and would rather not just make shit up, People provides a handy explainer companion article to the Brady profile:

The prefix “pan-” means “all.” So, pansexual refers to those who are romantically, emotionally, and/or sexually attracted to all people regardless of their gender identity.
Pansexual is often confused with bisexual and although the terms can overlap, they are not interchangeable. Bisexuality refers to those who are attracted to more than one gender, but not necessarily all genders. However, pansexuality does fall under the "bisexuality umbrella," according to GLAAD CEO Sarah Kate Ellis.

Ellis told USA Today, “Pan is more about all-inclusive, and bi tends to be more than one. The golden rule, honestly, is to call someone by how they identify.”

Walsh, a self-described “theocratic fascist,” doesn’t follow any type of “golden rule.” He just operates from a position of fear and ignorance. It’s why he smears trans people, but here he outright unravels over Wayne Brady’s sexuality.

“Other people, I think — and this will be controversial — other people have a right to know if they are potential objects of your sexual fantasies.”

It might reassure the beard that walks like a douche that no one alive, dead, or in between considers him a potential object of their sexual fantasies. People are trying to have sex in those fantasies. No one wants Matt Walsh ruining them.

Oh, but he’s not done: “That’s why it’s not fair to walk around saying ‘I’m attracted to anyone! Anyone at all!’ No one’s safe. Now if there’s a group of people sitting in a room with Wayne Brady … it’s a diverse group so you’ve got an overweight, 65-year-old man and a young woman … whatever. Everyone’s sitting around thinking, ‘He could be attracted to any one us right now.”

No one’s thinking this because, unlike Walsh, they don’t have serious emotional problems. I’m a petty man, so I’ll mention here that Wayne Brady is 51 and looks great, while Matt Walsh is 37 and resembles a crap-stained diaper. Wayne Brady could live the rest of his life without ever turning his pansexual gaze on Walsh. Relax, you freak.