349 Comments
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motmelere's avatar

Matt needs to be called out more often for the amount of shit he carries about in his head on national TV. He seems like the kind of fool that will shrink back if men tell him he sucks. Look at how he treated Ali Vitali yesterday; the ass obviously despises women.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, MM. Make sure to do some self-care, you subjected yourself to a lot, this Sunday and many others.

zb23's avatar

the whole Nestor thing makes a TON more sense if you realize he was probably just his Ghislaine (unknowingly or not). what better way to get a bunch of high-school girls into your house / "social" (ew) sphere than having some fake high school son?

The Horned Tulip God's avatar

So I regularly reside under a rock and only emerge occasionally to bask in the horror that is the gentle morning sun. Which is why I completely missed out on the fact that Matt Gaetz has a teenage Cuban immigrant residing on and off with him.

And I love that we're supposed to pretend his tossing and turning over what hijinks Nestor was getting up to on Spring Break were over safety concerns, as opposed to whether or not the boy attached the beer bong to the pony keg properly.

Question Cat's avatar

Where's Tucker's cackle when you need it?

diane's avatar

"Oh, you meant 'cackle'! Sorry, I thought you said 'tackle'!"

honey the monster's avatar

It's contextual depending on who he is standing next to. He is Schrodinger's asshat.

Cajun Kid's avatar

One wonders if Matt Gaetz wears a codpiece or perhaps what our trans brothers might call a packer just to make himself feel more manly.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

There's a procedure where they sever a muscle that attaches the penis to... something. It doesn't affect functionality, but it lets from 2-3 more inches of the penis to extend from the body. Very popular among a certain category of insecure white male who feels the need of that extra little oomph, not so much in the bedroom (since they're probably lousy lays anyway) but in the boardroom. Gives them to confidence they need to dominate the "lesser" men.

No. Sorry. Doesn't sound a thing like Gaetz.

VogonPoeticLicense's avatar

Someone should let him know to wear it in the front.

Tessie's avatar

Kevin McCarthy's job is more or less safe because nobody else wants it.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

More than 90 voted against the CR because they're in safe, gerrymandered districts, and they can run and fundraise off this issue like crazy. You aren't going to get those full 90 to eject him. Bidness-wise, he's the goose. (Egg, etc.)

Tessie's avatar

"GAETZ: What shut — what shutdown?"

`

LOL, what a dick.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

He'd hold a gun to your head and threaten to kill you, then wouldn't have the balls to pull the trigger.

"Attempted murder? Do they give out Nobel Prizes for attempted chemistry."

Mal Speranza's avatar

Does he think that works with anyone?

Amezed's avatar

Jeepers, Gaetz is getting more hideous-looking by the day. One more term and he'll be full Cyclops

VasyaCognito's avatar

Gaetz crime family news:

Ron Filipkowski:

Old man Gaetz coming out of retirement to run for State Senate to pave the way for his kid to run for Governor in 2026.

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2023/10/02/don-gaetz-is-seeking-second-stint-as-florida-senator-replacing-broxson/71031152007/

Bindersfulohostbodies's avatar

Dems shouldn’t waste any energy trying to contemplate which Republican would be a better Speaker than McCarthy. They are all bad, untrustworthy, and follow their collective agenda. It doesn’t matter who claims to be more reasonable. And I really want to believe we won’t save the Republicans from themselves, precedent shows otherwise. That’s because they give us the choice between bad and worse while holding vulnerable people hostage.

Revenant's avatar

a choice between unacceptable and unthinkable is not a choice, it is a ransom note.

aureolamanita's avatar

The only solution to this dispute that I can see is get someone practiced in the art of divination, specifically anthropomancy. Surely providing a few of your entrails would be a small price to pay to prove you were in the right.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

The House republicans, all of them, lost bigly with this vote. It also highlighted to everyone how little support there is for the Crazy Caucus® and their bullshit. Even the republicans are tired of it.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Not everyone's from a safe, gerrymandered district. Bad juju for a party that doesn't understand cooperation, empathy, or compromise.

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

This is awesome and all but if I've learned one thing, it is this:

When you have those motherfuckers down on the ground, you stomp on their fucking throats.

You DON'T "sit back" and let them kill each other because ultimately, they won't.

Amanda Mitchell's avatar

The temptation to let them just destroy each other is so great - too bad our country is at stake.

tempusfugit's avatar

They never will. They've proven that over and over. WE must destroy them.

John Thorstensen's avatar

Obligatory:

Let them fight.gif

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

No. A thousand times no. Stomp on their fucking throats, don't assume a fellow Republican is going to do that for you.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

Let them dog paddle furiously, start to go under, and beg for a life preserver.

Then throw them a boat anchor.

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

I love your drinks!

But what you suggest will never happen. There is no possible way on Earth that ANY Republican will ask ANY Democrat for help. No matter WHAT the situation.

They hate us. They really and truly do. They have been brainwashed by 35 years of Limbaugh and all who followed him telling them to this very day that Democrats hate America.

No, my fine drink-building friend, the absolute best course of action is to stomp on their throats as hard as possible, metaphorically speaking of course.

Matthew Hooper's avatar

They just did. This Saturday, even.

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Keep it up, they're still squirming. Don't stop. NO MERCY.

John Thorstensen's avatar

"Why not both?".gif.

There's a gif for everything!

TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Metaphorically speaking, as always.

I don't advocate violence against anyone but Nazis. They can be punched all you want, in my view.