Mean New York Lady Judge Tells Strip Club Lap Dances Are Taxable

Sorry, New York City strip club aficionados, but you are probably going to be shelling out a bit more coin to naked ladies who pretend to like you for a few moments, because the New York State Division of Tax Appeals recently ruled that lap dances are not artistic performances and are therefore taxable. 

Let's break it down for you lawsplainer style.

So the Hustler Club is what used to quaintly be called a gentlemen's club in New York City, but you probably already knew that, didn't you? So you are of course unsurprised to learn that at such a location, ladies take off their clothes for you when you give them money, and then they do some dances on you or near you. Lucky you! However, while you watch said dancing and sit on your hands so you don't "accidentally" touch the naked ladies and get unceremoniously tossed out on your ass, you are probably not thinking "wow, that is a choreography performance of unsurpassed agility and grace" because you are busy thinking with your dick, metaphorical or otherwise, and your dick does not give one fuck about choreography.

The owners of the Hustler Club, however, decided to take a flier on the idea that the government might agree that lap dances were "live dramatic choreographic performances" because those are not taxable in New York, probably because New York is run by mushy-headed liberals who think that people shouldn't pay sales tax on art. Commies.

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