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Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

The shear amateurish immaturity of these people is just astounding. You’re representing America on the world stage. Trying to broker a deal that will stop a war and the best you can do is “I don’t know if my guy knows English real good or not?”

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‘I Wonder How Good He Is at Understanding English’: JD Vance Responds to Iranian Accusation US Has Violated Ceasefire

https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/i-wonder-how-good-he-is-at-understanding-english-jd-vance-responds-to-iranian-accusation-us-has-violated-ceasefire/

Sherry's avatar

What a kiss ass beyotch. Shut up Megyn. No one loves you that’s clear.

Laura Barr's avatar

Love the Suzie Izzard reference!! Cake or death!?

Nancy Naive's avatar

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown.

Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, foot-tall

bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that

he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars

more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I’ll take the bronze rat."

The transaction completes, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm.

As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain

and fall into step behind him. Every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out

and follow him. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, he starts to run full tilt towards the Bay. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

He makes his way back to the antique shop.

"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Republican."

Lois Henry's avatar

Wonkette are my sunshine. If all the news I ever got came from Wonkette and Tiedrich, I think I could stand it. Ya know?

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

I think that in the next administration, trump and all of his lying sycophants like kegsbreath, Noem, Miller, Vaught, little Mikey, Lindsey, ... etc. etc. even Rudy (if he's still alive) should be locked up and surrounded by screens nonstop streaming Megyn Kelly podcasts and My Pillow advertisements.

Baconzgood's avatar

Does she know that Minnesota is an important purple state needed to win elections ?

Insulting the voters isnt a good thing.

Example: if Baconz was trying to win the Legislative Branch. Being from PA I could get away with saying "Alabama is full of toothless redneck meth-heads that are all on welfare" and wouldnt gain or lose a vote. But if I said that about Arizona....

forestvillain's avatar

This wretched MAGA scarecrow commenting on anyone's appearance is just...just...holy shit! This is the first time I'm literally at a loss for words.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

okaaaaaaay yrrr

smoking lamp

it is lit nao,

and everywonk is closer to the weekend to come than to last weekend, nao - hooraaaaay!

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

there's room for everybody on board the peace train

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Santa is still white. Jesus too.

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

“Biden was too told and senile to be president!”

Trump yesterday: “A whole civilization will die tonight!

Trump Today: Golden Age in the Middle East! Riches for everybody! Iran and the U.S. will jointly control the straight of hormuz!

Iran: None of this is true. 🤦‍♂️

Georgiaburning's avatar

In fact, Trump is negotiating with Hormuz himself.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Biden: rides his bike to the ice cream shop.

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

all the cops at the ice cream shop go Way-ooo Way-oo Waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy-o

Walk like a Joe Biden

SkeptiKC's avatar

I would just love to hear Handsome Joe finish off that tasty cone and then tell the Fetid Fuehrer to take a flying fuck.

Uncle Joe is an Irishman so you KNOW that he can out-cuss the orange abomination.

PJO22's avatar

I think you give Megyn Kelly too much ink. If any whackos want to know what she thinks they can watch her podcasts.

paul's avatar

OT- I put up a new and scaled down cat tree for Ripper and he went right for the scratching post and little hanging toy that will probably be gone by tonight. Now he is napping at its base. The other big tree will be hauled off tomorrow along with what we have accumulated since 1994.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

So Megyn has no use for Elissa Slotkin? Well, I'll be damned. We agree on something.

As for what she's saying now, I'm going to use my Kreskin-like powers of prediction to say it'll be something along the lines of, See, Trump is a genius who was playing 4D chess (5D? whatever) all along.

gallbladder's avatar

I want to be the one to put the coins on Donnie's lids just before he dies and whisper in his ear, "Hey, fuckface: you can't even spend 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 where you're going. Sleep tight, motherfucker."

Kateorite's avatar

Or: "Tariffs, motherfucker."

gallbladder's avatar

Good one!

The ferryman awaits.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

"Charon has been ripping us off for far too long with his River of Styx fee, which by the way is now River of America, and Charon now pays us". Two weeks later: Charon now charges four coins.

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

Chris de Burgh warned us, but did we listen? NooooOOOOooooo

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

I want the last words he hears before the end to be:

'You're Fired!'

SkeptiKC's avatar

I'd prefer him to hear "...seventy five years to LIFE behind bars", myself.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

"Tell Yam Tits. I want him to know it was gallbladder."

gallbladder's avatar

I'll endure it for the privilege.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Just dab a bit of Vicks vaporub under your nose.

That's the standby for future doctors and nurses during cadavar dissection.

42tontom's avatar

What a legend.