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Megyn Kelly Gives Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever, In His Penis
A song about Megyn Kelly, apparently.
Well, this argument about whether Donald Trump or Megyn Kelly is the biggest sexist is officially OVER, even more than when Bristol Palin finally commented on the situation, because Ted Nugent has spoken, and what do you know, he said something really gross. You see, he COMES down on the side of Donald Trump, except for when he's CUMMING on his television, because Megyn Kelly is on the screen, being all dreamy-like, and the combination of that, and the phallic gun in his hand, and the fact that he is SITTING THERE NAKED, just overtakes his NOOOOGE Peen, and he can't help but squeeze off a couple rounds. Rich Lowry only WISHES his Sarah Palin Penile Starbursts had this much muzzle velocity:
During an Aug. 12 appearance on WIBX'sKeeler in the Morning, Nugent defended Trump, whom he says is his favorite presidential candidate, by making crude comments about Kelly and suggesting she may be becoming "stupid."
Nugent said, "I'm a big fan of Donald Trump because I believe in bold, aggressive, unapologetic truth. Period. And I'm not a fan of Megyn Kelly, although I often turn on Fox just to look at her. Sometimes when I'm loading my [gun ammunition] magazines, I like to just look at her. And I usually sit naked on the couch dropping hot brass on my stuff."
</center>[contextly_sidebar id="97yEc2A6VqLH01NsTWeoSx4vFyXScoOp"] <p/><p>Well that's fucking gross, and not actually funnier, as Nugent claims, than Richard Pryor. (Yes, he said that, we are not lying.)</p> <p/><p>Nugent says Kelly's really bad journalism wasn't just bad because she said rude mean things to his boyfriend Donald Trump about how he calls ladies "fat pigs" and accuses them of bleeding out all over the place during debates, but also because Kelly is usually such a GOOD JOURNALIST, and probably also because he usually sits there dribbling sad NRA jizz all over his leg when he sees her on the TV. But when Kelly said the mean stuff to Trump, he probably lost his hate boner, which made the gun penis on his thigh look even bigger than the human penis between his legs usually does: </p> <p/><blockquote><p>"Megyn Kelly absolutely broke all of our hearts as only a Megyn Kelly could when she went into the status quo world. She isn't status quo, but she started acting, and sounding, and looking like one, and I don't believe she is. I think she is playing some games, either that or she's getting bad advice, either that or she's just getting stupid. Either way, Donald Trump is the good guy, currently Megyn Kelly ain't."</p></blockquote> <p/><p>Sad. Well, Wonkers, out of respect for the fact that you probably left this post two paragraphs ago to throw up all the food you've ever eaten in your entire life, we'll just end this post now, unless you want to go listen to that song where Nugent and Mike Huckabee -- WAIT, DID NUGE AND HUCKABEE BREAK UP??? --<a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/mike-huckabee-ted-nugents-song-about-ladies-vaginas-really-just-about-kitty-cats" target="_blank"> sing about stroking pussies,</a> in which case it's your funeral, bro.</p> <p/><p>[<a href="http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/08/12/nras-ted-nugent-defends-trumps-lewd-comments-ab/204904" target="_blank">Media Matters</a>]</p>