Megyn Kelly Reportedly Quitting Show To Spend More Time With White Santa And White Jesus

WHOA IF TRUE! And we sure as hell hope it's true!

Hey-o! Turns out Megyn Kelly might be losing her show for putting her white hood in her mouth for the first time ever, except for all the other times she was hella racist before NBC News shoved black journalists Tamron Hall and Al Roker aside to make room for ... whatever the fuck Megyn Kelly's show is. So far only the Daily Mail  is reporting this definitively, so take it with a grain of salt until a real news organization reports it.

'Megyn Kelly is done. She is not ever coming back,' said an NBC executive with knowledge of the situation.

'We are just working out timing of the announcement but mark my word – she is gone and will never be seen on NBC live again.'

The source then added: 'Here's the worst part – her deal is a non-break deal – so she walks away with all that money. It's disgusting and heads should roll here because of it.'

Oh Jesus Christ.

The backlash to Kelly wistfully talking about the good old days, when blackface was hilarious, has been fierce. NBC colleagues like Al Roker and Craig Melvin have essentially condemned Kelly to her face, going on TV to say she is a giant asshole racist while she is in the building , and Andy Lack, the normally very shitty chairman of NBC News, is driving the "Megyn Kelly Sucks" train out of the station like "CHOO CHOO!"

"There is no other way to put this, but I condemn those remarks," NBC News Chairman Andy Lack said at a town hall meeting on Wednesday, according to a transcript provided to The Daily Beast by a source.

"There is no place on our air or in this workplace for them. Very unfortunate."

Lack went on to compliment Craig Melvin and Al Roker for the way they tore into Kelly. Now maybe Lack can tear himself a new asshole for hiring her in the first fucking place. (Andy Lack really sucks. You remember that, right?)

Oh, and CAA, Kelly's erstwhile agency, has dumped her. (Kelly's camp says it was her decision, for the record.) And UTA, the agency she was talking to about signing up with, has decided that on second thought, fuck Megyn Kelly.

She has lawyered up, we guess because she wants to make sure she hoovers up all the $69 FUCKING MILLION AMEROS in her three-year NBC contract before she skates out the door to fuck up some more shit. (Which she shouldn't get, because she's being fired for cause, so fuck that non-break contract, and also fuck her, because according to #Math, that is Wonkette's operating costs for 153 YEARS. What we are saying, as we always say, is give us money. )

The Hollywood Reporter says Kelly had already been in talks to GTFO, because she really wants to do hard-hitting news and political stuff, which if we are remembering correctly is exactly what Kelly was trying to get away from when she left Fox News (not that she really actually did hard-hitting news and political stuff in the first place). There's likely also the little matter about how nobody watched her show, and because everybody turned off the TV when she came on, she also became a drag on Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, who came on just after her.

Kelly's show was a re-run today, and it will reportedly be a re-run tomorrow. And then (cross yer fingers!) hopefully she will NEVER COME BACK!

But where will our Megyn Kelly go? Off to a farm where she can run around and be racist, hopefully one day to be joined by Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham and Tucker Carlson? Or will she go to another network? Wherever will her racism and cultural ignorance and generally obnoxious behavior be welcomed? The Daily Mail quotes an ABC executive who says, "We wouldn't hire her in a million years." Ooh! Ooh! What about going back to Fox News? According to Daily Mail , Kelly is having talks about just that!

If this all goes down the way Daily Mail says it is, Wonkette must note that anyone could have predicted that Megyn Kelly would flame out in this spectacular way, and that it would involve her being a huge fucking racist.

At press time, Megyn Kelly was having a slumber party with white Jesus and white Santa and they were all talking about how much they love being white.

Allegedly.

[ Daily Mail / Daily Beast ]

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