Melania APPALLED Husband On Trial For Crimes He Committed To Cover Up Banging Porn Star
Dispatch from a cool marriage.
Since Donald Trump’s first criminal trial began (yesterday) we have been forced to listen to much caterwauling about how the judge denied Trump (did not deny) the right (privilege) of attending his son’s (Biff? Duke? Adolf? we forget) graduation (he doesn’t want to go anyway).
YESTERDAY!
Today let’s hear from the other person Trump (allegedly) lives with, his wife (that word doing a lot of hard work) Melania. She was reportedly very upset when she found out back in the day that her loving and otherwise faithful pussgrabber of a husband was in trouble for arranging and concealing secret peener payoffs to buy the campaign silence of a porn star he fucked while married to her.
That was then:
In January 2018, when she first saw reports that her husband had paid off a porn star, Melania Trump was furious. She jetted off to Palm Beach, leaving the president to languish in Washington. She eventually returned, only to take a separate car to Donald J. Trump’s first State of the Union address.
Guess there was some focus grouped reason she decided to pretend she didn’t know who she was married to.
Anyway, this is now:
As a criminal trial against Mr. Trump opened on Monday, on charges that he had falsified records to cover up that sex scandal involving Stormy Daniels, Mrs. Trump did not appear. She has long privately referred to the case involving Ms. Daniels as “his problem” and not hers.
But Mrs. Trump, the former first lady, shares his view that the trial itself is unfair, according to several people familiar with her thinking.
In private, she has called the proceedings “a disgrace” tantamount to election interference, according to a person with direct knowledge of her comments who could not speak publicly out of fear of jeopardizing a personal relationship with the Trumps.
“Election interference,” huh? Sure thing, Melon.
The Times goes on to say this trial could open “old wounds” and do “shaky ground” things to the Trumps’ otherwise totally real marriage. You know, like if they talk about Karen McDougal, the Playboy model Trump was fucking while Melania was pregnant with Mr. Almost High School Graduate himself. (Judge Juan Merchan said yesterday he probably will not let the prosecutors mention that Melania was pregnant when her husband was fucking that particular other woman.)
And of course, the Stormy Daniels uncomfortable coitus happened when Melania was at home with that young child.
“The reports of a payoff blindsided Mrs. Trump, who responded to the initial reports by getting out of town,” says the Times. […]
By now, allies of the Trumps say, Mrs. Trump has lumped the trial into all of the other legal problems her husband faces, and she is steelier than she was before.
And now she has to watch this witch hunt disgrace election interference trial happen right in front of all our faces. Poor, poor electorally interferenced Donald Trump!
In related news, during day two of Trump’s criminal trial, he fell asleep some more. He also reportedly tried to intimidate a prospective juror to their face. Trump has had to witness the reading of some hilarious memes prospective jurors have posted about him, but hallelujah, six of the jurors and the foreperson have been sworn in.
The fun part is getting closer!
OPEN THREAD.
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Me [reading]: The Times? Surely they don't mean the New York Times. Na, there's LOTS of news outlets with the word "Times" in their name. They must mean the *Washington* Times or some shitrag like that.
[continues reading]
Holy shit, they actually mean the New York Times! How embarrassing! They're basically just giving blow jobs in a truck stop bathroom now!