516 Comments
User's avatar
Runfastandwin's avatar

Little Chocolate Donuts

I like them a lot

Little Chocolate Donuts

I'll take all you got

Little Chocolate Donuts

They are really good

Little Chocolate Donuts

Nature's finest food

forestvillain's avatar

Hostess Donette Gems with the frosting that (barely) passes for chocolate. One of my guilty pleasures.

calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

Love that head gif, Martini! Monstrous!

Ron Spangler's avatar

Mommy, I'm scared of the dead-eyed clam cat!

Martini Glambassador's avatar

Aw, Wonkitty isn't scary. I don't think she has dead eyes either, but for sure both things are open to interpretation by the viewer.

Ron Spangler's avatar

Possibly I just have issues.

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

I only read about half the meme and can only say that ... hmmm, my brain is having trouble processing what to say about irrational, misdirected angst. I'll check back later.

I LOVE Wonkette but would never use it for food advice.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

FWIW, we used to do a whole weekly recipeblog thing 'round here. There were some good posts!

forestvillain's avatar

Every holiday season I Iook forward to the recipe for Nancy Reagan's Monkey Bread. Comedy gold!

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

I love this idea and have a couple of less-than-15 minute recipes I would post.

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

Not a good night for me, and I was hoping for a cute furry animal in TABS this morning....but what i got was CANNED CLAMS?!?!

Thanks, Martini. It gave me the giggles.

Antifa Commander's avatar

Not cool, Wonkitty, not cool!

Doktor Zoom's avatar

And here's the history, for the three or four folks unfamiliar with the canned clams origin story:

https://www.wonkette.com/p/not-quite-deleted-comments-why-is-wonket-trying-to-murder-people-with-allergies

pskbh's avatar

Poor Karen...er...Angela.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Came for the clams. Stayed for the Ponys.

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

Thanks for the memory!

I fear "Angela" is Legion on the Internet.

SunMoonStars's avatar

JFC Angela has some serious issues and needs professional help. Can't imagine she has stayed employed long anywhere. Drama queen trolls don't last long anywhere.

Doktor Zoom's avatar

I do wonder where she's gotten to in the last .... OMG, decade

Cryny's avatar

In a just world, working in a Snow's clam canning factory.

SunMoonStars's avatar

Would be funny to know. She will not survive in the real world acting like that. She's so far up her own ass she can't function.

I've been doing a lot of reading and listening as to why the younger generations are having so much trouble just making it in real life. They cannot handle being challenged or questioned. They have been raised behind computers and devices when humans enter the equation they go off the rails.

𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

[Flips through mental Rolodex of possible younger generations to which SMS may be referring; finds list to be concerningly long]

Menotsure's avatar

They don't teach that in schools anymore.

John the Retired Mailman's avatar

Fucking robot teachers....

Miss Grundy's avatar

Wonkitty??!! You monster! You know what the rule is about CANNED CLAMS!

Menotsure's avatar

I don't blame the cutie cat

For this April Fools Day joke

A Sinister Glambassador

Is behind this monstrous poke

Being teased with donuts

Got me up and woke

But canned clams for breakfast

Would surely make one choke.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

Wonkitty's not bad, she was just animated that way (apologies to Jessica Rabbit).

Menotsure's avatar
CambridgeKnitter's avatar

That looks even worse than Christina's turkey dinner ice cream.

Menotsure's avatar

They must be hard to keep fresh.

Menotsure's avatar

...and Bryon Noem?

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Nice one!

The Wanderer's avatar

Wonkitty being frisky!

The Estivating Hibernian's avatar

Wonkitty! You Monster!

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

It's OK, Wonkitty is delivering the canned clams to the Oval Office.

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Carry on, patriot.

tehbaddr's avatar

The Return Of Wonkette Brand Tinned Bivalves!

Craig Nixon's avatar

Clams, clams, monstrous clams.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

🎶 Clams, clams, clams, clams!

Clams, clams, clams, clams!

Wonderful clams, monsterous clams! 🎵

Mojopo's avatar

I liked the canned ones. It’s amazing what you can do with Astroglide. Not me, of course.

Sunshine Moonshine's avatar

Erotic financing!

Thank you for the OC Weekly story. I miss that era of that paper. Back then, you could even read the whole weekly Savage Love without clicking on a dozen links.

Also it was my fault the houses cost so much. I worked in real estate in MFing OC. I crunched numbers. I was a research associate. Ass! Then I got promoted to research analyst. Anal!

The SoCal housing prices kept going up because this nerd right here made pretty excel reports showing developers what the other developers were doing with pricing. It was bad.

Sorry for wrecking everything with my Ass Anal Excel Skillz.

forestvillain's avatar

I'm fine with the Pope excommincating that Bowman idiot, as long as it's done Torquemada style

forestvillain's avatar

I'm okat with the Pope excommincating that Bowman idiot, as long as it's done Torquemada style.

Demodocus's avatar

Why do fools always talk about switching out robots for teachers? Robots aren't necessarily any more comprehensive in knowledge, can't actually understand emotions, are incapable of compassion or giving a kid some leeway if you learn he literally feared for his mother's life last week, (an asthma attack in my case, but my poor lad was terrified for ages and acted out in school)

Alternative Dog's avatar

Trix's article from her OC Weekly days reminded me of the first time I met her. It was at the Wonkette Rosamunde Sausage fest in Oakland back when Donna Rose was a babby. I mentioned to Rebecca that I so enjoyed her writing that I'd bought a copy of her book 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘦 𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘊. She replied "Oh, your the one."

Khavrinen's avatar

"apparently being publicly scolded by two separate popes in one year didn’t teach him his lesson."

"Pfft, what would *those* guys know about *real* Christianity?" -- JD, probably.

Cincinnatus's avatar

Alex Jones, on Tuesday:

“He does look sick,” Jones said. “And he does babble, and you know, sounds like the brain’s not doing too hot. And so, we just cut bait on Trump, and we just mobilize against the Democrats. And we mobilize against neocons, we primary them, and we just fight even harder.” “Trump is just a minor figure in all of that now,” he continued. “And we have to be appreciative of the old Trump that went through so much and got so much done. And that’s the Trump we remember. ... We need to be sad about Trump. This is not funny. This is not good. But he’s gone. And that’s it.”

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/alex-jones-cut-bait-trump-intervention_n_69cce139e4b010aa53491b9b?origin=home-latest-news-unit

knockedoutloaded's avatar

yeah but WTF? he's still around?

Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

She's absolutely amazing and talented.

Rob Roser's avatar

That OC Weekly lady is a really good writer. Someone should hire her to do writing.

paxpax's avatar

It is afternoon. I am just getting to TABS.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

If SCOTUS agrees with POTUS on the Birthright issue, the only true citizens eligible to vote would be white people who are descended from people in the country in 1789 when the Constitution was adopted and the descendants of black slaves covered by the Fourteenth Amendmet. Everyone else is the descendant of an immigrant and would have to apply for citizenship.

MAGA can't pass the citizenship test.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

The Duggars sound like low-rent Epsteins.

Eric Paul Jacobsen's avatar

Whenever anybody mentions Melania Trump and robots, I feel obligated to share these pieces starring the great Tracey Ullman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6NqscIsidQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmuR2XFxkdU

Martha Howell's avatar

Tony Evers Vetoes Stan Account here! Life in WI would be nearly unlivable without Tony's Mighty Mighty Veto Pen, his righteous sense of fair play, and his deft use of the line-item veto (which should actually be done away with once we get rid of the gerrymander, but hey, when they go low, we fight back). All hail Tony!