Mexico Rudely Refuses To Build Gold-Plated Border Fence For Donald Trump

Artistic rendering, may not be to scale.

Oh, southern Messican neighbor, why must you disappoint our Donald Trump so? First you send a new army of rapists to America to scare him EVERY DAMN DAY, and now you say you don't have any plans to pay for a beautiful, classy border wall, and that's unfair because Trump has been drawing plans for it on the backs of restaurant napkins and telling people about it for MONTHS. How could you do this to him, making him look stupid in front of the whole class? More stupid, we mean:

Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto's administration said there's no truth to U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump's assertion that the nation would pay for a wall along the border between the countries.

"Of course it's false," Eduardo Sanchez, Pena Nieto spokesman, said in a telephone interview with Bloomberg. "It reflects an enormous ignorance for what Mexico represents, and also the irresponsibility of the candidate who's saying it."

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Even worse, Sanchez says all the things Trump says on the campaign trail are not to be taken as "serious proposals," as if Trump is some sort of sideshow candidate who only appeals to resentful, poorly educated voters on the margins of society who want their country back, but will never get it back, awwwww LOL.

Of course, Trump keeps saying the thing, telling loud gross Sean Hannity this week that "we’re not paying for it. ... You know how easy that is? They'll probably just give us the money." He continued:

"I watch politicians come on: 'can you imagine, Sean, he’s saying Mexico's going to pay? They'll never pay.' And I'm saying, that's like a hundred percent," Trump told Hannity. "That's not like 98 percent. Sean, it's a hundred percent they're [going to] pay. And if they don't pay, we'll charge ’em a little tariff. It'll be paid. But we need the wall.”

Just a little tariff! Maybe Trump can add an extra 5 percent "Fence Fund" surcharge on lady unisex hoodies in his online store, if your name ends with a "Z."

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But is this really surprising? First of all, Mexico can't even afford to pay ransoms good, to catch cartel leaders in the Drug War the United States created as a gift to the Latin nations to our south, how are they going to build a gold-plated fence to Donald Trump's standards? And also, too, the Mexican government is well aware that, despite its insane corruption and all other manner of failing failure, it actually does NOT have a plan in place to send rapists and murderers across the border to scare Donald Trump. And if you've ever been to the border (Trump went that one time and barely escaped without getting murdered), you know that tons of law-abiding Mexican people come across every single day to work in the United States, and only some of them are smuggling drugs, but not that many (probably, it's hard to say in Cartel Land ).

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Anyway, if Donald Trump wants that fence, he's going to just have to round of some of his undocumented workers, (WHICH HE DOES NOT HAVE, SHUT UP), and build it his damn self.

[ Bloomberg ]