Michele Bachman Opposes Immigration Reform Because Messicans Are All Gay for Democrats

Shelly is back! Without leaving!  After announcing her retirement , rivers of tears flooded the Wonket seekrit chatcave at the loss of such a proud Swiss-American leaving Congress to do who-knows-what (raise 84 more children? Destroy local school boards? Go back to being an IRS lawyer? Lose a Senate race to Al Franken?). But she is not gone yet! And she is talking to conservative media outlets about immigration reform . And you know what that means: Crazy talk! Woo-hoo! Party time, excellent.

Rep. Bachmann (R-Toonville) reached out to WorldNetDaily to give a policy-based reason why the current immigration bill should be stopped immediately. Did she focus on the relative weight given to border security versus a pathway to citizenship? Did she note any sort of fiscal argument, no matter how tenuous? Of course not, silly people! She talked about the real reason:

[I]f immigration reform passes, "we will never again have a Republican president."

Fortunately for us, she doesn't stop there.

Shelly goes on to note that if the immigration bill passes the House will flip to the Democrats, and the Senate will stay in the steely grip of Sen. Reid and the Democrats, and “you will never again be able to see our country return to its constitutional foundations." Because unless Republicans can engineer an electoral workaround, the Constitution still seems to allow voters to elect the wrong people.

Then she ends with the obvious:

It may sound melodramatic, but I don’t mean it that way.

Of course not. You are just saying that if scary browns are made citizens, then America will never ever be the same. Just because you are race-baiting in your shrill, nasally voice doesn’t mean you are being melodramatic, not in the least.

It’s not like you sent out panicked tweets about illegal aliens invading your Congressional office, and begged Senators to come protect you, because that might be melodramatic.

And it’s not like you said that the amnesty provided by St. Ronaldo Reaganendez led directly to an uppity Kenyan Socialist Usurper in the White House.

You are just calmly and rationally explaining that immigration reform will lead to the downfall of American civilization, and possibly the end of all human existence. And that you are opposed to a policy because it will be bad for your particular political party, which everyone knows comes before country and even God. So no, you are not being melodramatic at all.

A logical solution might be to reach out to and embrace immigrants, talk to them instead of hiding from them, and work to solve their policy complaints as you would any other constituent. Or, maybe your way will work, too. Who knows.

[WND via RightWingWatch ]