Erratic pill gobbler Michele Bachmann is so in touch with her God that she can figure out, like, super fast how to read God's messages in everyday things: three red lights in a row means, "only two Diet Cokes before lunch;" getting exactly $4.56 in change at the Wal-Mart means "time to clear out Marcus's Internet browsing history without checking it;" and finding an empty milk carton in the fridge that someone forgot to throw out means, "hair gets worn down next full moon." Fairly straightforward!
Giving the launch codes to any loon who's looking forward to the End Days is pretty much a suicidal move. Perhaps we could lock up the Xtard voters, for their own protection, on election day.
Behold the miracle of Dubya&#039;s fiscal policies. He took a surplus and transformed it into <strike>wine</strike> a ginormous deficit. He made war and made another war with money from the future! Behold! He lowered taxes and created jobs in the eyes of the faithful. Truly, a miracle!!
I hear the same voice. But I demand proof from this so-called God. So I reply, &quot;if you want me to do as you command, make her say something idiotic. Also make her husband light up my gaydar. And your final test, O mighty one, get me laid tonight.&quot; So far she&#039;s dodged the bullet, but someday ... someday....
And Rick Perry said that the Mancanto incident could be an &quot;...Act of God.&quot; And then Joe Barton apologized to BP for the President&#039;s harsh words.
&quot;Mrs. Smith, can Matt come out to play?&quot; &quot;Now Johnny, you know that Matt doesn&#039;t have any arms or legs.&quot; &quot;We know...but the pavement is really hot and we want to watch him flop around&quot;
Giving the launch codes to any loon who&#039;s looking forward to the End Days is pretty much a suicidal move. Perhaps we could lock up the Xtard voters, for their own protection, on election day.
Behold the miracle of Dubya&#039;s fiscal policies. He took a surplus and transformed it into <strike>wine</strike> a ginormous deficit. He made war and made another war with money from the future! Behold! He lowered taxes and created jobs in the eyes of the faithful. Truly, a miracle!!
She&#039;s right! When Dubya brought Jesus and Christianity to the Oval Office, nothing bad happened to America. Nothing bad at all.
Did I leave my webcam on again?
I hear the same voice. But I demand proof from this so-called God. So I reply, &quot;if you want me to do as you command, make her say something idiotic. Also make her husband light up my gaydar. And your final test, O mighty one, get me laid tonight.&quot; So far she&#039;s dodged the bullet, but someday ... someday....
And Rick Perry said that the Mancanto incident could be an &quot;...Act of God.&quot; And then Joe Barton apologized to BP for the President&#039;s harsh words.
Bachmann apologists start claiming &quot;she was only joking&quot; in 5...4...3...2..
Tooooo funny!!!
YIIELD!
&quot;Mrs. Smith, can Matt come out to play?&quot; &quot;Now Johnny, you know that Matt doesn&#039;t have any arms or legs.&quot; &quot;We know...but the pavement is really hot and we want to watch him flop around&quot;
According to the Creationist&#039;s Computer Help Desk, God did it.
The American people are roaring right now? Those are stomach-rumbles from the morbid obesity diet.
Yeah...she&#039;s married Matt...that fella with no arms or legs.
I know there is no god but Michele is tempting me to believe there is a Satan.
Michele&#039;s ability to channel the mind of Almighty Jah is as accurate as her ability to know what The American People think and want.
&quot;Ecce homo.&quot;