Erratic pill gobbler Michele Bachmann is so in touch with her God that she can figure out, like, super fast how to read God's messages in everyday things: three red lights in a row means, "only two Diet Cokes before lunch;" getting exactly $4.56 in change at the Wal-Mart means "time to clear out Marcus's Internet browsing history without checking it;" and finding an empty milk carton in the fridge that someone forgot to throw out means, "hair gets worn down next full moon." Fairly straightforward! That is pill-head child's play. But look,
Giving the launch codes to any loon who's looking forward to the End Days is pretty much a suicidal move. Perhaps we could lock up the Xtard voters, for their own protection, on election day.
Behold the miracle of Dubya&#039;s fiscal policies. He took a surplus and transformed it into <strike>wine</strike> a ginormous deficit. He made war and made another war with money from the future! Behold! He lowered taxes and created jobs in the eyes of the faithful. Truly, a miracle!!
I hear the same voice. But I demand proof from this so-called God. So I reply, &quot;if you want me to do as you command, make her say something idiotic. Also make her husband light up my gaydar. And your final test, O mighty one, get me laid tonight.&quot; So far she&#039;s dodged the bullet, but someday ... someday....
And Rick Perry said that the Mancanto incident could be an &quot;...Act of God.&quot; And then Joe Barton apologized to BP for the President&#039;s harsh words.
&quot;Mrs. Smith, can Matt come out to play?&quot; &quot;Now Johnny, you know that Matt doesn&#039;t have any arms or legs.&quot; &quot;We know...but the pavement is really hot and we want to watch him flop around&quot;
Giving the launch codes to any loon who&#039;s looking forward to the End Days is pretty much a suicidal move. Perhaps we could lock up the Xtard voters, for their own protection, on election day.
Behold the miracle of Dubya&#039;s fiscal policies. He took a surplus and transformed it into <strike>wine</strike> a ginormous deficit. He made war and made another war with money from the future! Behold! He lowered taxes and created jobs in the eyes of the faithful. Truly, a miracle!!
She&#039;s right! When Dubya brought Jesus and Christianity to the Oval Office, nothing bad happened to America. Nothing bad at all.
Did I leave my webcam on again?
I hear the same voice. But I demand proof from this so-called God. So I reply, &quot;if you want me to do as you command, make her say something idiotic. Also make her husband light up my gaydar. And your final test, O mighty one, get me laid tonight.&quot; So far she&#039;s dodged the bullet, but someday ... someday....
And Rick Perry said that the Mancanto incident could be an &quot;...Act of God.&quot; And then Joe Barton apologized to BP for the President&#039;s harsh words.
Bachmann apologists start claiming &quot;she was only joking&quot; in 5...4...3...2..
Tooooo funny!!!
YIIELD!
&quot;Mrs. Smith, can Matt come out to play?&quot; &quot;Now Johnny, you know that Matt doesn&#039;t have any arms or legs.&quot; &quot;We know...but the pavement is really hot and we want to watch him flop around&quot;
According to the Creationist&#039;s Computer Help Desk, God did it.
The American people are roaring right now? Those are stomach-rumbles from the morbid obesity diet.
Yeah...she&#039;s married Matt...that fella with no arms or legs.
I know there is no god but Michele is tempting me to believe there is a Satan.
Michele&#039;s ability to channel the mind of Almighty Jah is as accurate as her ability to know what The American People think and want.
&quot;Ecce homo.&quot;