Michelle Obama Guilty of Letting Black People Visit White House

White America is very concerned about what is happening to the White House these days -- key word here being, of course, “white.” Michelle Obama has recently been seen in public doing urban dances, and even invited some sort of gang member to the White House for a poetry reading/cop-killing brainstorming party. Many Americans are under the impression that at this rate, Tyler Perry will soon have an office in the West Wing to share with the Black Panthers, or the Crips. They are all the same thing, right? What exactly is Michelle up to?

Maybe our FLOTUS is just trying to get the kids in shape for swimsuit season, but then again, maybe she thinks that because her husband blew up Osama bin Laden, no one cares what kind of street culture she introduces to the children. You saw her do the Dougie, and here she is again, playing some sort of strange game with a red ball, and then dancing to “Whip My Hair,” an anti-American call to violence that goes:

Don’t let haters get me off my grind

Whip my hair, I know I’ll be fine

Keep fighting until I get there

When I’m down and I feel like giving up

I whip my hair back and forth

I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it)

This is apparently what it takes to get children off the couch these days, so it appears that anyone who doesn’t like it will just have to stay fat, forever. Stay fat or succumb to the cultural contributions of African-Americans! [ CBS News ]

 Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move for "The FLOTUS Files," which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.