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Ward From Cali's avatar

FWIW, it's improper to use an image of George IiI for this post. For all his faults, George III never claimed to be ordained by God. He was hyper-aware that his crown came from Parliament. In fact, his reign was noteworthy for his acceptance of Parliamentary supremacy and his use of bribery to assure their asset to his decrees. Parliamentary supremacy had been a fact since the English Civil war, and even tacitly accepted since the Glorious Revolution in 1688, when Parliament invited a foreign prince to be King, rather than the despised Stuart heir. George III 's innovation is that he attempted to be a tyrant through corruption rather than force.

You wanna riff on God Ordained, go with Louis XIV. Preferably an image where he's losing his head.

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Maybe's avatar

The Dems need to start messaging more strongly. I think they should focus on eggs, since trumpy promised to lower egg prices and instead is raising prices overall for Americans. An egg image would fit on a cap. And the saying "egg on his face" could be applied to trumpy. (Though an egg facial might not even show up since he's already orange.

Is there an egg emoticon that could be added to comments about trumpy? I'd use it.

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Maybe's avatar

trumpy has long reminded me of King Henry VIII, especially where women are concerned. And his arrogance, stupidity, entitlement, cruelty... The list goes on.

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Megan Macomber's avatar

Mike Johnson says it's "undeniable" that God anointed Trump? Hey Mike! Look at me, right here, denying it--with facts--Trump was not "hit by a bullet," which is why the truth of that episode has never been released--and biblical truth, from Matthew: "The good shepherd would die for his sheep."

Can you see your Lord God Trump dying for any sheep, metaphorical or not? Be honest, if only with yourself since you're incapable of it in public. There's Jesus, and then there's Trump. Never the twain shall meet.

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Johan Grillo's avatar

Slaveowners cannot be trusted

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FredRock's avatar

These Fucking People!

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Robyn. Johnson is Dominionist trash. He is about as far from being a righteous or moral man as it's possible to be. I would *not* want to be the person who has to look at his hard drive.

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Maybe's avatar

That's true of a lot of the loudest "Christian" in the country. trumpy, of course, is neither a Christian nor a Repub if you judge him by his actions.

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John R Hoffman's avatar

As I recall, Johnson and his son keep each other posted about their porn proclivities.

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Some kind of Fred's avatar

Trump's political and legal survival is indeed hard to explain in natural terms.

I don't actually believe in deals with the Devil but it's a very economical explanation.

Trump epitomizing the Seven Deadly Sins and working against Biblical teaching at all points says who he's not representing.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Luckily Mike had a podium thick enough to conceal his chubby from The Lord.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

So Does that mean that AOC was also appointed by the "Baby Jesus"?

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Someone should remind the great theologian and Bible expert, Moses Johnson, that God did not want Israel to have a King, and was against it, until they nagged like irritating toddlers, and God said, "OK, have it your way, but don't say I didn't warn you." That's not an exact quote, it's just what I hear in my head when I read the Scripture - as I have done many times, but doubt that the same can be said for Moses Johnson.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Should we tell Mikey that God doesn't exist?

It seems like, in his position in the government, that would be good information for him to have.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Some years ago a theologian / apologist said in front of people, cameras, microphones, and everything that "God exists but He is not part of this Existence". The lights came on, I stood, raised my arms and shouted "Fuckal if that's not good enough for me!!!"

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Maybe's avatar

I prefer "I think I think, therefore I think I am." (Will Cuppy)

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"I think I think, therefore I think I was."

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Leaving Art School's avatar

David wasn't perfect was he? Didn't he lust or something 🤔. Shit didn't he off a girls husband so he could knock her up? Wasn't he still a big hit in the Bible?

Fucking hell it's all make believe. The Bible is literally fan fiction written as a joke and the people who wrote it didn't realize they were on the path of taking over the world mindset. Now on the other hand they do. They know it's all bullshit but it doesn't stop them from pretending to be devout believers, and claiming shit like Johnson does.

Hey, idk if it's true or not but I heard that one positive thing to come from the OBBB is that suppressors are no longer going to be considered class III weapons or won't require the tax tag they have up to this point 👉 so if you've been waiting to get a suppressor due to the legal red tape I think 🤔 it's time to pull the trigger.

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Maybe's avatar

Then there are the many different versions of the Bible. There is no extant copy of the original, but we have Bibles that have been translated, edited, and mostly rewritten by people like trumpy and his followers.

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Some kind of Fred's avatar

Oh, I've been researching hearing aids and an audiologist put a video on his channel about how happy he was with that change. They don't work like in the movies but can still reduce hearing damage.

The problem with the King David comparison is that David strayed once and Trump has been bad his entire life.

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KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

David remained a big hit in the Bible all right, despite his crimes. According to Holy Writ he sent Uriah the Hittite to the front lines actually carrying a letter to General Joab (David's big main man from way back) that said, in effect, "Joab old pal, see that this dude doesn't make it home from the war."

Joab and David had been outlaws together when the then king, Saul, was hunting David to kill him. So what did David, later the pride of Israel, do? Found refuge with Israel's enemies the Philistines and served them as a mercenary. As for that whole David and Goliath thing, if the Philistines really did have a man that size (nine and a half or ten feet tall) he'd have been a court curiosity, a clumsy lumbering hulk mostly for show, and against a skilled slinger he'd have had no chance at all. The sling of biblical times was a deadly weapon. Very.

Of course it's probably just a typical giant-killer yarn anyway.

As to WHY David got all the good press in the Bible while Ahab and his wife Jezebel got the bad press, that's an easy one. That part of the Bible was written by the Jerusalem priesthood, and David ruled in Jerusalem (after he took it over), while Ahab and Jezebel ruled in the northern kingdom, Israel, the one that didn't survive. Jezebel may have murdered a man who wouldn't sell her his vineyard cheap, but that wasn't her crime. Her real crime was being a foreign woman who worshipped different gods. Her murder by defenestration and the slaughter of her children wasn't the judgement of God, it was a straight-up power grab and dynastic purge, by a bloke who seems to have been quite a shit himself, Jehu the son of Nimshi.

Remember in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE how vicious sadistic delinquent Little Alex, sent to prison for murder, absolutely grooves on the Bible, with its many stories of "these old yahoodies who would tolchok each other in gory battles, and then give a bit of the old in-out to their wives' handmaidens?"

Alex knew.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"It was old age having a go at youth..."

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Thank God for the suppressor stuff. I was planning to shoot up a library, but I didn't want to get the librarian coming down on me about the noise.

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Some kind of Fred's avatar

The actual numbers are surprising. Still loud enough to require hearing protection. https://www.ammunitiontogo.com/lodge/silencer-guide-with-decibel-level-testing/#testing

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Leaving Art School's avatar

Have to use subsonic rounds for maximum effect.

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Peter MacMonagle's avatar

Golden Calf. False god. Clay feet.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

The vulgarian definitely has feet of clay, although I sure he thinks they are gold plated.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Feet of clay and ankles of Retained Bodily Fluids.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Being afflicted with retention of fluid due to bad heart and kidneys - I can say without regret, that I certainly hope so.

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Maybe's avatar

I don't want trumpy to die (only because I don't want to be the sort of person who wants others to die), but I certainly wouldn't mourn him. And seeing all the knives come out for Vance as Repubs contend to take over the party would be interesting--even better than the trumpy/musky match.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

I'm not wishing death on him, but fluid retention with all the pain, discomfort, and inability to put one's own shoes on? I'm afraid I would wish that on him.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

We know Sir's doctors tell Sir that Sir will live to be 200 but I have some doubts. I for one am certain Sir will die at some point during Sir's lifetime. And then brace yourself! Sir's rapidly decomposing soul sack will "Lie In State", which, technically, Sir is already doing at this very moment.

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Dialectic.Detective's avatar

Not what I would have gone with, but points for originality.

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On September 6, 2017, in Mandan, North Dakota, Gregory Lee Leingang stole a forklift from an oil refinery and attempted to drive it toward the presidential motorcade while Trump was visiting to rally public support. After the forklift became jammed within the refinery, he fled on foot and was arrested by the pursuing police. While interviewed in detention, Leingang admitted his intent to murder the president by flipping the presidential limousine with the stolen forklift, to the surprise of authorities, who had assumed he was stealing the vehicle for personal use.

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- Wikipedia, Security incidents involving Donald Trump

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Security_incidents_involving_Donald_Trump

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Dialectic.Detective's avatar

"multiple assassins tried to kill him"

Surprisingly only one so far.

But good things come to those who wait.

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Maybe's avatar

If trumpy were to die even by natural means (age and gross health habits), the Dems would be blamed for it. Dems need to improve their messaging skills stat.

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