338 Comments
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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Pence's pet fly has more brains and integrity than that Dominionist trash.

Barney Rubble's avatar

NYT actually reporting this as "Pence refuses to endorse Biden" instead of, you know, "Trump's VP refuses to endorse him, because he's completely unsuitable to work at a fucking drive-thru, never mind be the actual fucking President of the fucking USA."

Wookiee Monster's avatar

If Pence thinks he’s got a shot in 2028, Mother or someone needs to tell him not to waste his time. It’s not just that the MAGAt faithful hate his guts for not stealing the election for Dear Leader. It’s not just that he’s a christofascist who is hated by moderates, progressives, and everyone else who isn’t a christofascist. It’s not even that he was a shitty governor who almost single handedly destroyed their tourism industry with his Don’t Say Gay 1.0 bill.

No, the real reason Mike Pence will never be president is that he is the most boring human being on the face of the Earth! He makes vanilla look spicy. He is the low-fat mayonnaise of republicans.

boo radley's avatar

I'm reasonably sure he doesn't think he has a shot. After all, he has met the Trumpanzees and the Rethuglicans face to face and knows them exceedingly well.

DogParent's avatar

Oh, please, Mike Pence, Drumph is the same piece of garbage he was when you agreed to be his running mate and he was certainly "conservative enough" for you then.

Pence isn't prepared to endorse the monster who tried to get him killed on January 6; he should grow a spine and say so.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

There are probably sixteen Bible verses Mother can quote that clearly show that God doesn't want his children growing spines on their own.

Anzu's avatar

Weirdly enough, I believe ol' Mikey here. The Turnip isn't actually conservative. He's authoritarian and the only ideology he ascribes to is Might Makes Right So Vote For Me So I Can Be Mighty.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

As the old saying goes, "If you have lost Mike Pence, you have lost Karen Pence."

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Are you sure it isn't the other way around?

Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

His 2028 campaign slogan: "When mayonnaise is too spicy for you, vote for Pence!"

SethTriggs's avatar

Mike Pence, the Patron Saint of Boiled Chicken, can't even manage a scrape more than the bare minimum. He is the platonic ideal of a useless toady.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Honestly, is there anyone left in America who gives a flying suck what Mike Pence thinks, about anything?

The man has no natural constituency left. He was a failing Indiana governor, about to get thrown out on his ass, when Trump scooped him up because of his supposed appeal to boring churchgoing types. Now the Trumpies hate him, and the rest are as indifferent as ever.

IOW, he's nothing but a useless right-wing gasbag who is one of the many, many people who were foolish enough to trust Trump and got burned for their trouble. Let him sit quietly on some corporate board somewhere, if he's lucky enough to find one, and STFU for the rest of his life.

Hippo Heaven's avatar

I asked my Trumpy Neighbor what she thought about Mike Pence. I would have thought she'd have a favorable opinion of him, since he's all churchy and what-not. Also, she admitted that he did the right thing on January 6.

But she says he's "too weak" and has zero interest in seeing him as a candidate for anything.

Megan Macomber's avatar

Pence gets points for publicly announcing his non-endorsement. He gets points for doing his constitutional duty January 6, 2021. In the Great Ledger of GOP Spine, this puts him up there with Mitt Romney. May they evolve into vertebrates. Soon.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

"Not conservative enough"

do another autopsy report then.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

the only thing otherwise useless Pence is still good for.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Of course somehow the NYT managed to use this news to attack Biden too

Headline

“Pence Says He Won’t Endorse Trump, but Won’t Vote for Biden Either”

Caepan's avatar

So, here's my response to that spineless twerp Pence:

1) Received my absentee ballot today for New York's Presidential Primary (can't be there because work)

B) Made sure to fill in the dot, leaving no stray marks, for Joe Biden.

π) Gonna mail it after I leave work.

Just my subtle way of telling TFG and his deplorables to go fuck themselves.

SethTriggs's avatar

That's the way to do it!

John Thorstensen's avatar

What? You didn't vote for Dean Phillips? /ducks, runs away

Caepan's avatar

The only response I have for generic worthless rich-kid Phillips is, "NOW GO GET YOUR FUCKING SHINEBOX!"

And Williamson can shove crystals up her hoohah till she reaches Nirvana. Or at least Pearl Jam. She ain't even gonna be president of her organic garden club.